What should I do if I want to kill myself all the time?

@BlueVeins I’ve been wanting to kill myself for the past 4 years for varying reasons. I’m pretty sure the core problem is the fact I have major depressive disorder (and therefore I’m not meant to live)

@ShaythePanTransMan Well, what are those reasons?

@BlueVeins right now? Because I’m not meant to live as someone with MDD and also that I’ll always be sexually undesirable as a non-cis person no matter what I look like and...I have my fucking calculus final exam in two days and I’m prepared to fail it

@ShaythePanTransMan Maybe start with the calc final and work from there. That seems like the most pressing of the bunch.

@BlueVeins yeah I guess I have to

@ShaythePanTransMan There are a lot of people who are attracted to transgender people like yourself, dating services for that and stuff. Your genes may've failed you, but you don't have to let them define your life. Are you frequently in and out of mental health services?

@BlueVeins I guess so, hope I find them somewhere.
I guess....
What do you mean by that? I see a therapist regularly, but that’s it.

@ShaythePanTransMan That's kinda what I meant. Have you considered trans dating apps?

I dunno, I guess I would advise you to make sure you're being honest and getting the most out of your time there, but I realize that that's super lame, obvious advice.

@BlueVeins oh. No, I guess I should
Oh, I am. The issue is my therapist isn’t that good :(

@ShaythePanTransMan Can you get a new one?

@BlueVeins I think I should try yes
I feel awkward leaving her because I like her but like if the school therapist helps me more in 30 minutes than she does in a whole month that’s a sign

@ShaythePanTransMan You're fighting for your life here, man.

@BlueVeins I guess you’re right