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How can I stop drinking?

I think about my health and my future career and I want to stop drinking.

But then I think about how good it feels to be drunk how it just numbs the pain and I want to start drinking.

I don’t know how to handle this.
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Maybe slowly confront the pain and use the drink to fall back on when it becomes too much. But keep trying to push into it. Use it like a shield.
Try to get a support system. Either for the pain, the drinking or both.
And a good therapist can help too but that might not be an option due to cost, stigma, etc...
Also try to find healthy ways to be numb. I know that I have used sleeping pills to try and stay not conscious as much as I can. Not that that is a healthier option. But I just gave that as an example of what I did to escape pain.
Talking to a doc might be an option if it is ptsd related. I believe it is prazosin that can help with things like nightmares.
And the biggest thing is learning to overcome yourself. Like I said there can be a stigma but remember that you have bigger problems than a stigma and deserve help.