When can I end it?

I've had depression since I was 16. Im 28 now. I was diagnosed at 21 with schizoid personality disorder and was on meds for a while. Thing is...Im tired. The only thing that keeps me alive is taking care of my mother and provide for her. If she wasnt here I'd have ended it long ago. I've been thinking about it and Im getting more and more tired and fed up and I just feel quite empty.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

I understand that kind of thinking, I feel the same way most times and for me is it caring for my wife. My depression started a bit earlier than you. I've come very close to ending my life so many times I've lost count. I've made a promise to myself that I am going to try to get help (again as I've tried in the past and failed) after my wife passes away. Have you tried to get any professional help yet? Do you have anyone in your life who is supportive enough that you trust them to help you through this?

Alic3ack · 31-35, F

@gmatthewb I did try. I was on therapy for a while and on meds but I had to drop to get a job.

gmatthewb · 51-55, M

@Alic3ack Ah, I can understand that. Did the therapy and meds help any do you think? Do you feel you have gotten worse since you stopped?