When can I end it?

I've had depression since I was 16. Im 28 now. I was diagnosed at 21 with schizoid personality disorder and was on meds for a while. Thing is...Im tired. The only thing that keeps me alive is taking care of my mother and provide for her. If she wasnt here I'd have ended it long ago. I've been thinking about it and Im getting more and more tired and fed up and I just feel quite empty.