How do I get over severe wedding day anxiety?

I am marrying the man I truly love and couldn't be happier. We have been living together for some time and are having a baby together as well and we couldn't be more happier. BUT I suffer from social anxiety when I am in front of big crowds. We eloped and got married in the courthouse alone but for the church ceremony we are planning an after party. I am absolutely terrified of this day,even though its in 3 months, its all I think about! I get shortness of breath and my hands begin to shake like crazy and I have unrealistic fears of making a fool of myself. I don't like getting attention but this day all eyes will be on me and this makes me feel so anxious. The thing is, I was the one pushing for this to happen. Also the fact that I don't have a mother or father to show up for the biggest day of my life, also feels very sad and lonely. I also am pregnant and am scared this stress will harm my baby if I don't find a way to cope. Please give me the best advice on how to calm down my irrational fears of people. I don't want to ignore this problem and run away every time I get scared. I don't want to miss out on life or have regrets in the future.

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SW-User

Just keep reminding yourself you'll be okay. Try to envision everything going right and take deep breaths. Our anxious minds like to go to the worst case scenarios try to stop that line of thinking and replace it with thoughts of just you and him sharing that moment

Optimisticbird · 26-30, F

@SW-User thank you :)

PoetryNEmotion · F

Have you thought about getting a counsellor or psychiatrist or psychologist? If your spouse works you may have some access to one? You seem pretty level headed. You are coping with major life changes and all at once. You could use some professional help. Talk to yor fiance. As much as possible. You need to relieve some stress. Practise relaxation. Eat well. Try to rest. Talk to your obstetrician. Talk to your family and friends. How about your mom or other females? Can you downscale your wedding? It is outside the box but maybe a hypnotist could help for that wedding day. Hope this helps or gives you some ideas. Lean on those who love you. Good luck.

Optimisticbird · 26-30, F

@PoetryNEmotion Thank you for the advice. I went to psychologist but now she's on baby leave. I might need to drive the extra mile to find another one. This is something my family thought I got over bc I have been putting on a strong,brave,successful face for them for the past couple of years. Little do they know , I still get these episodes. I feel a little ashamed of them bc I don't want people to see me this weak. Its like a defense mechanism for me to act strong all the time! I had problem when I was a kid,finally now I am a grown woman and a successful one as well. I have been working so strong to prove everyone wrong...

PoetryNEmotion · F

@Optimisticbird I think you would benefit from another psychologist. Can your old one recommend another one for you. You don't have to be strong all the time. It is strength to ask for help when you need it. Not a weakness. Successful women can get help too. And, as I said, you are coping with many stressors all at the same time. Do what you need to get better and to become more confident and be happy.

hlpflwthat · M

This is you winning. Breathe. One breath after another. The people sharing that day love you as you are. Just breathe.

awhitedot · 46-50, M

Elope!

Optimisticbird · 26-30, F

@awhitedot not an option or the point.

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