Coping mechanisms for hopelessness and panic and anxiety attacks

So I was on an antidepressant, Long story short I'm on an anti seizure and not allowed to take my antidepressant anymore (it did not cause the seizure, but like I said, long story).

My hopelessness and general fatigue is way up, and I have been having more panic and anxiety attacks (I'm diagnosed with ptsd, depression, generalized anxiety and am pending a diagnosis of panic disorder).
I can't really try any new medication while I'm in this brain tumor induced limbo and my coping mechanisms are not always helping the way they used to.
I need to be effective and proactive, but I'm always exhausted and these meds make me feel like a zombie, whenever I don't feel terrified or hopeless.

I just...don't know what to do. I want to be a mom again, not just a vague emotionless warden.

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Mindful · 56-60, F

I know it’s unfair. But you must stay alive first. With time, after you’ve stabilized, maybe the doctors can reduce the amount of frequency of your medication. Keep a journal. To read to yourself, but also to show to your doctor.

JustMags · 26-30

@Mindful I'm on the lowest dose and have been for over a month. I do keep a symptom journal have ever since I was 14. But most doctors expect dishonesty and difficulty from me(IDK why) so it is ignored. There is no stability to be found. I've been told how I feel now is my new "normal" hence my need for something to cope. I've been ducked by every neurologist I've tried to see and no other doctor will change or cease the meds because they fear liability.

However I still thank you for your time and input.