What do I do??????

I am seriously considering sneaking out (after everyone goes to bed) to jump off the bridge near my house, which is a 5-ish minute walk.

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Hikingguy · 56-60, M

There are a lot of us who go down the rabbit hole like you. But we manage to come back out. And so will you. I know where you are and it sucks.
Sorry is all I can say. Just bite down and get through. You are stronger than you realize.