I would have been dead by now without you.

Having zero self-preservation, completely disillusioned towards the world and its pleasures, tired of the helplessness and the suffering that can't be uplifted, overwhelmed by death and loss and incompleteness and the darkness of the human nature.

And then there is you choosing to brighten the world a little even when you're suffering yourself. I don't know why you care about me. It makes no sense.