Ok so today is day 9. But up close this is how it is healing.

I see a bubble. And it's driving me insane like I have to cut it in order to make it flat like the rest. I was told it needs to heal from the inside. But I know it will heal that way. And im so exhausted from the cycle. I want to. I need to. But I worked so hard I can't. I just hope, I have it in me to leave it alone. But I see the lump on the side. 😫

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Oster1 · M

Put a bandage on it.

Montanaman · M

@Oster1 Oh, if it were only that simple. You could put a bandage over it, you could wear gloves, or duct tape your hands. Even in your sleep, you'd be thinking about it. Maybe waking up, not even fully awake, and youd give in to the demons and say fucki it, and dig till you're a bloody mess once again. It's such a powerful addictive never-ending cycle. You just have to reach a point where you breakdown enough, too weak to lift a finger, and that's where you're inner strength and prayer takes over, and you beat it. This is how you beat it. 💓 💪😇🙏

Oster1 · M

@Montanaman @ScarletWitch I realize that and do not want to make light of it.

I want to research more, as I have followed this, from the start. It's not that easy, but so frustrating to see the torment. It just hurts me. I am so sorry, you are suffering. I can't imagine, what you are going through. So help me God, it hurts me.

Montanaman · M

@Oster1 I truly know that you weren't making light of it👍🤗 It's just that ive been through it. Took me ten years to beat it. A divorce, and facing the dating world, I just was determined to. 😇🙏🤗

Oster1 · M

@Montanaman It's so frustrating and emotional for me. I just want to fix it. I'm scared, it can't continue, to go on. I will study everything I can and have the skills. Emily, is so beautiful, too. I'm adding prayer into the mix. We all should. She is so sweet and needs a miracle.