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I am agitated

Got my haircut today for first time in forever. I had all these pics saved but forgot the phone. Had to bring the baby who I couldn't get to nap for more than 20 mins all morning til the appointment so he was a little cranky. They were fine with it, held him while she worked. Was only in the chair 15 mins for a super layered shag. She curled it, I don't know why I didn't stop her, sometimes I'm just slow. I never curl my hair, I hate using a curler, I actually prefer it straight or beach wavy. I specifically said no style on the phone when I made the appointment. Then some chick charges me for the style. I don't know why I didn't say anything. Can't wait to wash this and see what it's actually like in two days, I better friggin like it. Sometimes my reaction are just slow or I ignore it in the moment and think whatever but walking home I started to get irritated and then when I walked in the door I vented to BF and was raging pretty much. Was going to call them and bring it all up but. They were nice, one stylist held the crying baby for me last half. I'm just saying for 75$, 10$ of which I shouldn't have even paid, and 15 measly minutes in the chair this cut better be good. Honestly if I don't like it after it's washed and dried....if more needs taken off or I don't like how it falls around my face I'm going back and asking her to fix it. I wish I didn't have little guy with me because it would have been a better appointment I would have been more relaxed and the stylist too probably but this is just mom life I guess. No way I was cancelling....I haven't a cut in 6 months or so. Anyway. THE STRESS over something so small such as a haircut that I feel.....🙄😭
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SW-User
I thought you were going for a pixie cut 🤔
Notsimilarreally · 31-35, F
@SW-User I am not that girl
SW-User
@Notsimilarreally in all seriousness, i kinda get it. You "fawned". And afterwards youre angry with yourself for it.

We are our own worst critics, im sure the cut looks good on ya even if its not what you initially wanted.
Notsimilarreally · 31-35, F
@SW-User that's the term. It's just funny how I fawn in the moment and then get so pissed. Now I'm like whatever. My emotions be crazy
SW-User
@Notsimilarreally its valid though. I used to sit through many haircuts where i dont like what my barber is doing but i just let him go with it and i'd come up with every excuse for him just so i wouldnt feel bad about not speaking up.

I dont do it anymore because i recognized it and ultimately pushed my self to be more open about what i want. Its a muscle that needs to get practiced.
Notsimilarreally · 31-35, F
@SW-User it is totally a muscle reflex you're right. I should remember that.
SW-User
@Notsimilarreally yeah. You can do it.. identifying the issue is the first step to fixing it.

Your anger seems like it stems from your inability to communicate/express yourself effectively.. its more anger towards yourself that you express outwardly.

I might be totally offbase about that but thats what im mostly gathering i used to struggle with the same thing.
Notsimilarreally · 31-35, F
@SW-User somewhat offbase my friend. I communicate, loudly and clearly 😂 rawr. It is a problem under extreme circumstances, when I'm panicking for example. Also depends who I'm talking to too. But there are many more relevant sources for my anger.

You sound like you're super self aware and always willing to identify and work on your issues. That's really cool.