Ive felt the same way recently. but i dont do it cuz im to chicken.. i think it may be a good thing that later doesnt come. when i think of doing something bad, i sort of think of something good or just hide somewhere where i know i cant do anything terrible. i like to think about the things that will happen if im happy all the time. then i just become positive and looking foward to the day. sometimes i also talk to someone when im feeling down. i usually talk to my gf bc its confortable for me. im not sure if you have a partner, but maybe a friend, sibling, etc. hope you feel better ❤️‍🩹