So…, A Few Things Here

First and foremost, I want to apologize for flirting with anyone or causing anybody at all to conjure up feelings.
And yes, I know…
I recently admitted to a small crush on a fellow user here in an attempt to be supportive and up lifting.
Even if I did try to explain its parameters I think I definitely crossed a line and I apologize to her and everyone for stepping outside my truer nature these past 2 months.

I completely understand how my words and actions here could be construed as seemingly offering myself up to romantic entanglements through the platform we all use.

But please, let me be perfectly clear with everyone.

My Heart Was Given Away to Someone just over 3 years ago and I shall not lend it or give it to any other soul but her.
That is, if she’ll still have me after how rotten and erratic I have been this past year or so.

I love SW.
I enjoy the interactions and I have real love for all the people in my circle. I love them like brothers and sisters and friends.
As human beings who deserve to laugh, smile, and are worthy of love.

I know that I type all types of things here.
Everything from erotic poetry, music of all kinds, and political rants and real life happenings.
This place is kind of like my online therapy journal with 40+ armature therapists that don't even play one on T.V.

I’ve had people of all types tell me that I don’t know how to use this place. A few tell me I use it wrong. Others come to me in messages telling me how I’m so in love with Magenta or PotH or Bex or Mindful, Champagne, and Cookie Crumbs…
And I’m all just dumbfounded and struck!

It’s gotten to a point where I’m really going to take a hard look at the way I conduct myself here. Pretty sure most of those users know I’m just kinda fucking around and being playful?

But honestly, if people are willing to hit me up in private and say these things to me then I’m giving off an entire vibe I never meant to.

SW is full of great people and a bunch of fucking weirdo’s! And hell, maybe I’m a weirdo too with the way things have gone recently?

All I can really say for sure is that I cherish this place, the interactions I have, and the circle that I keep.

But more or less this place is a repository for the rhymes and the poems. The thoughts that have nowhere else to go. A place where I can just hang and say stupid shit without anyone reading too far into it.

And all of the sudden it’s shifted somehow by a dozen different factors and only a few of which I touch upon with these words that I type here.

Still here I am typing. Trying to explain to anyone who has the mental bandwidth to read something this long and try to understand it gently….

I’m not here for love.
I’m not in love with anyone or trying to actively make anyone fall in love with me.

My deepest and sincerest apologies to anyone that ever thought otherwise or took my harmless (in my mind) flirtatious nature in any manner that suggests that I want them or anyone else.

Even my admitted crush, despite being a very lovely, beautiful, and wonderful person, wasn’t ever really a thing for me more than a overwhelming admiration of her and the way she handles herself and underestimates her own self worth at times. To her I owe an extra apology because I’m certain that I tainted the way she looks at me now, and all I ever really wanted was to be a kind and caring friend to her.


So this is all that and I hope I have done an adequate enough job of explaining to everyone that cares to try and understand it.

Yeah, I love ya !
Just not like that.
For me that kind of love is quite likely past my grasp even as I sit here reaching and clawing at it.

All is not lost in that quite yet.
But yeah, She’s the only Her that will ever hold a key that I will let slip into the lock I placed upon my heart.

I typed all of this without anger and absent of any ill regard or malice.
I just want to set my record straight in an open and honest fashion.

Be well
Live happy
Keep trying,
Rob