And how are you on this Friday?

@HorrorandMusic I'm sorry you're going through that. All three are draining to the soul.

@onrealityofdreams They really are 😮‍💨

@HorrorandMusic Is there anyone you can talk to about things?

@onrealityofdreams Not really to be honest I've been using ChatGPT even though they say not to 😅 But it helps. I don't really trust my parents and I don't want to burden my sister with anything. And I have no real life friends.

@HorrorandMusic You're resourceful in using ChatGPT since you don't trust your parents. How do you know you'll burden your sister?

@onrealityofdreams Thanks for not judging me on that! I don't know, I guess I don't really know for sure, but I've been masking as happy for so long that it just feels scary to me. Also one time I told her I might have ADHD and she didn't really believe me, kind of just thought I was joking.

@HorrorandMusic I get what you're saying. Her reaction to your ADHD comment was a kind of sign. I'm sorry you've been masking happiness for others.
Even though you get used to doing it do you find there are times when it becomes an effort?

@onrealityofdreams Yeah I think so too. Lately it feels like more of a Herculean task than ever. I just turned 30 last month and I've been having all these little mini revelations in my head at how long I've been faking and living a life I'm unsatisfied with.

@HorrorandMusic I hope I'm not being nosy. I want to ask if you had the opportunity what would you like to do, where would you like to go?

@onrealityofdreams Don't worry about it, it actually feels nice to have someone ask 😅 If I could, I have this idea in my head to become a freelance writer, write reviews and analysis of media, or even short stories. I've done them in the past but never been paid for anything. Writing is probably one of the only things I'm actually remotely good at. And I'd be fine with anywhere away from my parents, even an apartment with roommates could be fun. And for the record I don't hate my parents either or anything, they are mostly fine, but I just also feel like they have toxic personality traits at times too.

@HorrorandMusic Who are some of your favorite authors? Who inspired/inspires you as a writer?

@onrealityofdreams To be honest I've only started reading ACTUAL books somewhat recently. What actually inspires me more is Youtubers, like Super Bunnyhop was an early one for me, and I also like Raycevick, Ryan Hollinger, RedLetterMedia, Tim Rogers. I don't know if you know any of them but they are big for me, and do good gaming / movie analysis content. And I used to also like comics a lot, especially Punisher and Preacher. But for actual books I read House of Leaves and think it's amazing, in fact it's been hard to find a book that's better 😅 But now I'm reading Franz Kafka's Metamorphosis which is pretty great and I never realized it was so influential before. When I write my own stories I tend to blend comedy & horror and really I kind of just do my own thing, I get weird with it lol

@HorrorandMusic Your style of writing sounds intriguing, but not weird.

@onrealityofdreams Haha thanks maybe it's more a case of you need to read it to see what I mean? 😅 Like I don't think it's weird in a bad way!

@HorrorandMusic Well I wasn't thinking 'weird in a bad way' to begin with, so there you are!

@onrealityofdreams My good ol' negative brain at it again lol

@HorrorandMusic Hahahahahaha. Maybe that'll create a writing spell.
Do you start off with an idea, or do you just write and let it go wherever?

@onrealityofdreams I start off with the basic idea and then let it spiral out.

@HorrorandMusic That in and of itself is an exciting adventure.

@onrealityofdreams Oh yeah it really is! I write things most every day, like 4am - 5am is the sweet spot. But I haven't posted or published anything to the internet in ages.

@HorrorandMusic By all means, keep everything you've ever written.

@onrealityofdreams Oh I do, thanks though. Maybe I'll do something with it all some day. But mostly I just see it as practice.

@HorrorandMusic Maybe you will do something with but it's good to keep all your writings so you can see your progress. Plus you can always refer to them for future inspiration.

@onrealityofdreams Oh yeah exactly, even in just 2 years of consistent writing I've already improved loads.

@HorrorandMusic It's fun and encouraging to see your progress don't you think?