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Single people, have you found your confidence/self esteem getting lower with each passing year?

Maybe you met one person, or two people, or three, and you talked and maybe you even clicked, but things did not work out.
At some point, did you start thinking, that maybe it's you who's not good enough? Maybe you're the problem here.
Maybe you're ugly, or you're too dvmb or too stvp!d or too poor to find someone who loves you.
Maybe you have a sh!tty personality that repels everyone around you.
Or maybe you're just a b!tch or an ^ssh0le and people can't like you, let alone fall in love with you.

You ever think about that?

And each year you find yourself withdrawing more and more from people, until you have nobody, and no one around you.
So you sit alone, all by yourself, forever and ever.
With no one to hold your hand, or kiss you, or hug you, or support you when you're down.
CopperFox420 · 36-40, F
I’m gaining confidence and losing interest in finding someone to join the pack. I have to let it go. I’m not saying it will or won’t, I’m just finding myself in a position where I don’t need anyone. I’ve gone through so much alone and lost so many people, I don’t see any value in dreaming or putting out effort. I’m tired of giving anyway. I’m mostly reclusive but that’s where I am in life rn and that’s okay. I’ve already made it to the other side of pain so often, I hardly see anything as permanent anymore. Except my love for my son and my dog. That is real. Otherwise, I’ve exhausted myself giving to others who just took and took. Got no time for that anymore.
4meAndyou · F
After three marriages, and three divorces, my issue was not finding or attracting people willing to commit...it was in tolerating them.

After the third ex, whom I once loved, I found myself trying online dating, and no one was good enough. No one was the third ex. He was my "person", until he went nuts and became someone else. I wanted his younger self back...but that person had died.

I wrote to one guy online at that time, who wanted to date me, and he accused me of being a Serial Dater...or...as I called it...a Cereal Dater. I would go on one date, and find something wrong. (Say Cheerio!)

So I stopped dating except in groups with other friends...because no one deserves a Cereal Dater.
val70 · 51-55
@4meAndyou Thank you for sharing that. I'm a Cereal Cat Owner myself. Nothing wrong with that. For the moment I'm with two felines. Now don't give up on that lucky meet anywhere!
val70 · 51-55
It's my own experience talking to all sorts of little and big fish out there, that everyone will get a lower confidence/self esteem when getting older. It's the older part, yes, that's the killer. Don't bother to ask, I'm an awful sad case. I fall for the most impossible women. When young always the older ones, when middle aged the craziest ever, and when older the smartest cookies around who are already with a partner for decades. Work on that confidence/self esteem because it's only the getting older part that will trip you up in the end
BreezeyBree2 · 56-60
LOL I know I'm good enough... thing is, I won't put my time and effort into convincing someone I'm worthy. Those who know can see that for themselves.
As I get older, it's a bit harder since men usually want younger, HOT looking women.
I'd rather be alone than compete for someone's attention.
Virgo79 · 61-69, M
@BreezeyBree2 anyone with sense you wouldn't have to convince your worth.
BreezeyBree2 · 56-60
@Virgo79 Exactly! :)
Mardrae · F
Yes, but after several years of being exactly like you said, I have realized how incredibly happy I am to be alone now, doing what I want, when I want. And I realize that honestly there is probably no one in this world that could “ get “ me. I’m happier alone. I see the shit that other people go through in relationships and I am so thankful that I don’t have that drama in my own life. And yes, I have been married 4 times- been through 3 divorces and then lost the best husband in the world from an accident. I simply cannot go through any more loss, whether it’s from breaking up, divorce, or death. I realize that people are “ expected “ to grow up, get married, have kids, etc. it’s the norm. I think that’s a lot of the reason that people get so upset not being in a relationship- they feel like they don’t live up to society’s expectations.
I've been separated about a year and a half now. Prior, I actually moved into another part of the house. Without going into the whole drama, I relish this time. My adult son lives with me and a big thing is to get him to gain some independence so he can survive on his own. I have friends and some local pubs I can go to anytime if I want to get out.

For the most part, I don't get too down on myself anymore. I actually have more confidence than I did 2 years ago. As far as a relationship, I'm not looking, and just taking care of myself and this dump of a house I bought.
Ontheroad · M
I"ve no doubt I'm the problem and since I know that, my self esteem rocks right along.

Would I like to run into the perfect partner? Sure, but I'm kind of picky (that's why it's my fault) and as you get older the pickings get slimmer and slimmer.

I'm good with me... me is an okay guy (even if I do say so myself), I take great care of myself, can do what I want, have hobbies and as near zero hangups as one can have - it's all good for me.
PoeticPlay · 51-55, M
Yes.
But then..
.

 
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