Is this true for you? How does it apply?

@Northwest Not really. Lockdown's making things difficult for socializing.

@Casheyane [quote]Lockdown's making things difficult for socializing.[/quote]

That's orthogonal to your question.

@Northwest Maybe. Maybe not. A friend of mine got to read between the lines away. :) So yeah, you can just ignore it if you want.

@Casheyane [quote]Maybe. Maybe not. A friend of mine got to read between the lines away. :) So yeah, you can just ignore it if you want.[/quote]

Sorry, but I don't understand what you mean. Are you talking about online conversations? Just as in real life, people's personalities and behavioral patterns, emerge online, just as they do in real life.

You are more likely to attract people, conversationally, who are similar in temperament.

@Northwest Yeah on the temperament part. But that's just it. People's behavior could change in different environments.

People have more than one side is the point.

@Casheyane Some people are multi-faceted, and some are not. This comes out through conversations, as long as the conversations cover various topics. Same in real life.

You go on a date with someone, and you only discuss watermelon farming. Would you base your entire opinion of him, based on his watermelon farming views/skills, or try to go on other dates, where you can discuss, family, life, love, the environment, feminism, politics, education, etc...?

@Northwest I kinda see your point. But I'm not really feeling open at the moment so I'm not pondering on it much.

Some environments can make you feel suffocated though, like you always have to play a part. Maybe that's called being a hypocrite to others. Maybe it's just their way of protecting themselves. So what they attract when that happens, it's not things that are easy to avoid, not in an environment when they have to be someone.

Doesn't mean that's all they are. Doesn't mean that's what they want to attract and keep in their lives.

@Casheyane Yeah, but this also goes for in real life encounters. It's actually easier to know who people truly are, if it's online, on places like SW, where people participate in lots of conversations, and their true feelings, about various subjects come out.

It's also pretty straight forward to tell when they're not engaged in these conversations at a deep level, and that should be obvious.

Those who want to "please" or fake, will show themselves for who they are, when their stories start contradicting each other, or fall apart under scrutiny.

@Northwest Ah. I think you're focusing on the heart to heart part. In that case, I see what you mean. People are more honest in SW. It's nice :)

But take it in the work place before lockdown for instance. Or in a place where you have to socialize. It's become a habit to keep up appearances. I know it doesn't mean it's healthy. But some places, you have to be someone to keep your place or fit in to make life easier. I guess the reality is that that could be called faking it somehow. Doesn't necessarily mean they have to make up stories. Just means they couldn't really be who they truly are inside because they have to keep professionalism and face and stuff.

That's also the reason why I said some people might call it being a hypocrite. But reality is, we all do it, I think. Depending on the group we are in (outside of SW, out there, in the real world)

@Casheyane I am more focused on what you asked:

[quote]You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.[/quote]

As to the workplace, people are not usually open to wearing their feelings/positions on their sleeve, because they are worried about their careers, and how others who may influence that career.

In 2021, or maybe 2019, most topics are off limits in the workplace, due to fear of offending someone (right or wrong). Politics, romance, religion, etc. So, you stick to neutral topics, like cooking (maybe).

I am also not saying that people are more honest online. I'm saying that you have to engage someone on a deeper level, and examine their views, as they discuss things with others, before forming an opinion as to whether this person is a good fit for you, and usually this involve some selection criteria based on attracting what you think you are, so if you think you're great, you would not want someone whose conversations scream "not great". I'm picking SW as an example.

This of course assumes you're looking for a long term situation, and you're not acting on a whim.

@Northwest Yeah. But my life before lockdown don't really involve too much outside of workplace so I don't want to think that applies to me.

It's a matter of balance I think. I honestly want the luxury of getting to know people and having them get to know me too, when all this is over.

@Casheyane

[quote]Yeah. But my life before lockdown don't really involve too much outside of workplace so I don't want to think that applies to me.
[/quote]

Perhaps this is something you should consider working on. If your circle is limited to your workplace, it gives you a much smaller sample to start with, and makes it easier for people to "fake", so they can get along, because they realize that they spend more time with their co-workers, than they do with their families / SOs.

[quote]It's a matter of balance I think. I honestly want the luxury of getting to know people and having them get to know me too, when all this is over.[/quote]

Of course, the best policy here is to be yourself and don't settle.