To my love , my desire-

I never deserved you , i never deserved to be near you forget being in relationship with out .we were together for past 3 years , and i just used you , i just wasted every chance you gave to love you yet you gave me a chance again and again .
I loved you , atleast i had deep desire for you but i never made the effort .i broke your trust so many times ..it was due to illness , my depression , my delusion foggy brain and many times it was my lack of responsibilty .
Now we are on verge of breaking up forever .i still hope for an another chance because this dread , this fear of losing you , the guilt , the shame is excrutiating .i wish you give me another chance but deep in my heart i know you wont and i dont deserve anything from you .
So with a heavy heart i am telling you goodbye .if at all i meet you again , i hope you love the girl i would be .you would be dearly missed , even in my heartiest and happiest moment , there would be a pang in my heart - if you were with me !