I have been really struggling with this...

I forgave my mom and grandmother for the years of abuse they silently did to me and my two younger sisters. Randomly feelings of anger, anxiety and hatred have been resurfacing. How do you forgive someone for years and live a peaceful life and then these dangerous emotions pop up and take control over your life only to leave you broken and tortured by the events that took place. What do I do? Im suffering everyday from reoccurring memories that won't go away.😪

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Spoiledbrat · F

Maybe you haven’t faced them or accepted them the way you think you have. If that’s the case try verbalizing your feelings about the events that took place that are torturing you because you are likely holding on to them without being aware of it.

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Seabird · 31-35, F

@Spoiledbrat I mentioned the issues when they were happening and she would say nuh ugh... That never happened.. Why do you think she would think so sick? She acts all shy and innocent to other people that she knows my entire life but them when we were alone with both of them they would do sick stuff to us physically and emotionally... We were living in a silent hell.. When we would tell someone they would say you know your really sick for saying those things about your own mother she would never do that to you.. I could not believe what I was going through.. Ever since those times I've been put out of reality it feels because it was so traumatic it would cause me to feel the out of body experience. I feel so damaged by fear I haven't even felt like I've been able to start living real life emotionally...

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Seabird · 31-35, F

@Spoiledbrat Funny thing is Ive been in therapy for a year and the guy tells me last month.. Ya know I don't have experience with this kinda trauma.. I'm like ok.. It was awkward and I felt so let down by opening up all that time.. What the fuck is wrong with ppl.. Dick! ☺ 😢

Seabird · 31-35, F

@Spoiledbrat A blog sounds cool... Maybe I will try that out...