I am a New Member at Similar Worlds
I am not sure which group this post of mine is supposed to belong to. So I will settle with this group.
I have a 3 months break before my next semester start and this time I didn't have a semester break job line up. Plus I was really depressed. Sitting at home feeling very unhappy. I thought why bother with life anyway? Why bother with anything. My mum tried to get me to look for a job and one day I just broke down crying at the mall. There is a lot of things at once. Me reluctant to go back to school because I didn't like it. I don't feel like I got a lot of choices when it comes to life. And I thought why bother when u are gonna die one day anyway? Eat sleep work work marry bla bla. That same old viscious cycle of life that I will never break out of. I feel very demotivated and overwhelmed. But I been hiding it very well all that pent up emotions. Until one day it was like a freakin dam collapse and all my emotions came tumbling down. My parents didn't take it well. Not at all. They tried to talk some sense into me. My parents cried. My sister blame me for the troubles I have caused. Well I wouldn't say my parents deserved to be parents if u can't handle when a kid dealing with this kind of existential crisis.
I didn't really care if I am going to get a job. I just gonna sit at home all day and have my mum constantly nag at me. Not that I hate my family but I am at the point I didn't even care that much. I harboured bitterness at my parents for giving birth to me. Because yeah I don't want to be alive.
I told u I have applied for some job. By end of january I received a call that asked me to go for an interview. Its one of the jobs that peak my interest. I only have to work weekends for 5 hours per day and the pay is higher than others part time job out there. And yeah I got the job as a part time cashier. I enjoyed it even though it is such a low job. My aunt say cashier is for ppl who are lazy. As much as I enjoy it, well it can't be the ultimate job I am settling for. But I didn't expect I can ever find a job that I actually enjoy
I have a 3 months break before my next semester start and this time I didn't have a semester break job line up. Plus I was really depressed. Sitting at home feeling very unhappy. I thought why bother with life anyway? Why bother with anything. My mum tried to get me to look for a job and one day I just broke down crying at the mall. There is a lot of things at once. Me reluctant to go back to school because I didn't like it. I don't feel like I got a lot of choices when it comes to life. And I thought why bother when u are gonna die one day anyway? Eat sleep work work marry bla bla. That same old viscious cycle of life that I will never break out of. I feel very demotivated and overwhelmed. But I been hiding it very well all that pent up emotions. Until one day it was like a freakin dam collapse and all my emotions came tumbling down. My parents didn't take it well. Not at all. They tried to talk some sense into me. My parents cried. My sister blame me for the troubles I have caused. Well I wouldn't say my parents deserved to be parents if u can't handle when a kid dealing with this kind of existential crisis.
I didn't really care if I am going to get a job. I just gonna sit at home all day and have my mum constantly nag at me. Not that I hate my family but I am at the point I didn't even care that much. I harboured bitterness at my parents for giving birth to me. Because yeah I don't want to be alive.
I told u I have applied for some job. By end of january I received a call that asked me to go for an interview. Its one of the jobs that peak my interest. I only have to work weekends for 5 hours per day and the pay is higher than others part time job out there. And yeah I got the job as a part time cashier. I enjoyed it even though it is such a low job. My aunt say cashier is for ppl who are lazy. As much as I enjoy it, well it can't be the ultimate job I am settling for. But I didn't expect I can ever find a job that I actually enjoy
