Just a bit of a ramble

@sree251 Also, each does not exclude the other. You can relax here while slowly letting down the defences in physical space. And the two might overlap; I have met two of my SW friends in 'real' life after meeting them first on SW.

@ninalanyon wow, you are really resourceful. I commend you for that. Back in the old days, before the internet, people write letters to pen pals and make friends that way. You can reach into each others' inner worlds a lot better than when face-to-face.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Br3K4fkt9fs

@sree251 Not really resourceful. I just have a rule for myself that opportunities are to be taken when they are available, unless they are stupidly dangerous. For instance when the opportunity came to work in Norway I said yes almost straight away (I consulted my wife). I found out later that I was actually the third choice of the employment agency, the first two turned the idea down flat. It turned out so well that I have made it a rule to not say no to new experiences unless there is a really good reason. My SW friend, @Jonno01, and I corresponded here on SW for nearly a year and then we met at his hotel when I visited the UK, it went so well that I stayed the night!

@ninalanyon It's great that you can make friends on the internet. Doesn't your wife give you enough companionship?

@sree251 I don't have a wife. I've been a widower for a week short of six years now. Consulting my wife regarding working in Norway was nearly forty years ago.

@ninalanyon Ok, sorry for your loss. Yes, making friends on the internet is a good way to stay connected and make friends. Companionship is mainly psychological. You have conversations and share information. And that's all you need.

@sree251 Well, not quite all one needs. Some physical contact is required too.

@ninalanyon Do you mean sex? It could wreck the relationship. Sex is self-gratifying, and using others for a physical purpose such as riding a horse for fun, keeping a dog for hunting, eating a pig for food.

@sree251 Sex was always in the background in my and @Jonno01's correspondence. We gratified each other and no it hasn't wrecked our relationship which is a very long range and occasional one anyway given that we live in different countries. It is about 2 000 km by road from my place to his, not something to be done on a whim. When I am in the UK we sometimes get together, have sex, and a long chat over a cup of tea or two.

I wonder at the kind of relationships that you have had if you think that sexual relationships are always so unequal.

To get back to the question: no I don't exclusively mean sex, I also include just being in the same room together chatting, bringing each other up to date on our respective lives and little adventures. A hug, even a handshake or an air kiss.

@ninalanyon
You said: "I wonder at the kind of relationships that you have had if you think that sexual relationships are always so unequal. "

My relationships are psychological. At the physical level, it would be for a practical purpose such as moving furniture in my house or launching a boat at the lake.

I am essentially the minder of the body that needs to be fed, clothed, and sheltered. It would be great if I didn't have a body to take care of because it is a source of pain in illness and accidents. And if I ever run out of money, it will be a real disaster to be alive to endure homelessness and poverty.

Sex is a process of procreation. Why even go there? Isn't one body a bad enough burden?

@sree251 Your mind needs a substrate in which it exists, the psychological relationships you have require communication which necessitates some hardware whether it is sight, or sound, or a brain to computer interface. There is no getting away from the need for something that performs the tasks of a body.

Also, sex is not only about procreation and if I run out of money the society I live in will provide for me.

@ninalanyon Society will provide for you? Perhaps, if you can game the system and be the fashionable victim of society. This is not an option for me, buddy.

The mind needs a substrate to exist? So, you subscribe to the belief that you come from the brain. This is the consensus mind-body worldview. This is why the therapist prescribes psychotropic drugs to zap the brain in order to treat you. I find this hilarious. I don't mean to be facetious and impolite. Yours is a perspective that conditions human behavior in society. You are the body and the body is you, and your relationships are body-to-body interactions.

I used to see things your way. Then, I started wondering why relationships are problematic and conflict-ridden. And why do we take it out on the body when we don't get along? We even kill the body in order to vent our emotions such as rage, fear, and depression.

The body has nothing to do with us. It is there for us mind, not harm; to use but not abuse.

@sree251
I will not need to game the system, I live in a society in which solidarity and caring are still meaningful concepts. It's not perfect, it's not utopia, but the social security safety net exists and is mostly working. I don't see how this would make me a victim of society.

@ninalanyon Social security safety net is for when you retire and no longer work for an income to live on. If you run out of money before retirement age, social security won't pay you anything.

Solidarity and caring don't mean much unless they come with a roof over your head and food on the table. I live in the USA. There are all sorts charities, food pantries, and shelters. And yet, some people have to live in cars because they can't afford the rent, some live under bridges, and some begging for money at traffic lights. American society is the best there is in terms of caring and solidarity if you believe the empaths in the media.

@sree251 Not where I live, nor where I come from; neither of which are the US.

@ninalanyon Good for you. It's unfortunate that the rest of the world must struggle on with conflict and insecurity. I doubt that your safety net situation come without a hefty price in terms of human dignity and freedom.