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I just found out (about an hour ago) that my daughter lost her access to the in state paid college tuition available to students who qualify. I'm really angry and worried and sad and disappointed and scared and...

She has always been a remarkable student, then last year in the 10th grade, she had a really hard time. She'd taken on 5 honors classes and went through some tough family stuff and some tough friend stuff. Basically, life hit her real hard, and her grades suffered. She felt awful about it and spiraled into self harm and other things I don't understand. I was really scared for her for a while. She's doing so much better now, is excelling in school, and has settled into a more balanced version of herself.

It's just... that one bad semester during her 10th grade year changed everything. I'd (foolishly)taken for granted that she had the in state tuition paid and was preparing to fill in the gap financially, but I don't know how to do more. I didn't go to college and I want her to have that because she wants it as bad as I did when I was her age. But I didn't know how then either, and my parents never went and my mom was sick...

I'm really upset. I didn't make a huge deal about it to her, because what good would it do? She's already working hard and bringing home excellent grades, and volunteering and just doing her best. She's a good girl and I don't want to add undue pressure. She feels it enough on her own. But as mom, I'm freaked. Its almost halfway through Junior year. I don't know how to regroup and I just needed somewhere to put my feelings.

Thank you for your time.

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LookingForIt987 · 51-55, M

Hi, @Kintsugi, and welcome to the party! 🥳

My daughter went through effectively the same thing - a whole bunch of things caused her to spiral her sophomore year. Her grades fell drastically, she also resorted to self-harm, and so own.

I’m not sure what state you’re in (obviously), but as far as I know, here in PA at least in-state tuition isn’t tied at all to HS grades, just where you live. If you received this info from your daughter, I’d suggest taking it with a grain of salt and reach out to her guidance counselor in school to verify it. If you heard from an official source, check to see if there is a way to appeal the decision, or if it’s possible to reapply as another alternative.

All that said, I agree with @iamnikki elsewhere in the comments - there’s nothing at all wrong with community college for 2 years. Our community college even works with the students to do what they can to make sure grades transfer to whatever school the student plans to transfer to. It’s a great, much less expensive, option.

If you’d like to chat with somebody who’s been there, done that (so to speak), feel free to drop me a PM.

Kintsugi · 41-45, F

First off... Thanks for replying. For even caring. That's friggin cool.

So, where we live there's a state sponsored program that provides college tuition to in state colleges and universities as long as you meet certain income requirements and make a cumulative 2.50 GPA for all courses in grades 9-12. I'm going to look into this more, because I feel like cumulative is probably the key word. Like LookingForIt987 said, I need to take my daughter's word w a grain of salt. She's active in JROTC and is moving rapidly through the ranks. I know she is looking into scholarships in that area as well...

I appreciate all the advice. Her plan is to go to college somewhere within an hour or so for the first 2 years. I can make calls tomorrow and get more information and I'm much calmer now. She's still in high school at the moment and for another year and a half, its just all going so fast... I'm sure I'm panicking a bit because of it.

Thanks again, sincerely.

LookingForIt987 · 51-55, M

@Kintsugi Cumulative does sound as though it’d be the key word. And if so, as long as her grades freshman year were good, she can still recover from her bad sophomore year. Good luck!

iamnikki · 31-35, F

Have her go to a community college for 2 years. While there, she should communicate with the academic advisors each semester so that she takes ONLY classes that will transfer to 4 year University. Have her go to a SMALLER, public university, which usually is cheaper. And graduate with little debt, or none, like I did.
👍

Mamapolo2016 · F

That's so hard - when your kids are hurting. Is this a state or federal program? There's no chance it will change? Has she already graduated?

xixgun · M

Massachusetts National Guard used to pay your tuition if you went to a state sponsored school

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