Tell me a joke ?

An overweight man collapsed in the street and his four friends together couldn't lift him. The lead singer from the Hollies saw it and instantly recognised who the fat man was, so he came running and lifted him up all by himself. He then said to the other guys "He ain't heavy, he's my brother".

See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says

"Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!"

B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says

"Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!''

hi RekkaMOM
Welcome to SW btw.

If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2.

Recording on an Australian tax help line

Best wishes
:)

Three men walk into a bar . . . Oh, hell. Can you believe Trump is President?

What's red white and blew all over? -- Monica Lewinsky

knock knock...

oh nevermind... POLITICS!

thank you! thank you!

The Secretary was very annoyed, she went up to her Boss and complained - "Sir, I cannot stand this harassment any more. When ever I stand up, a guy comes up to me and smells my hair". The Boss was surprised and said - "So, what's wrong, your hair must be smelling real nice". The Secretary says - "You don't understand, Sir. He is the midget in the office".

Donald Trump is my president

Daughter: Mom, I’m pregnant!

Mom: I thought I told you when a guy touches your boobs, say don’t, and when he touches you vagina, say stop.

Daughter: But he kept touching both, so it came out,”don’t, stop, don’t, stop.

trump