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Why do die hard 3rd wave feminists tend to flip out on women that just don't fit their ideal of what a women should be....

Then claim that women should be able to exercise their own wants, thoughts, ideals and all that as part of their freedom?
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Some people are very short-sighted. People in general do this quite a lot, they say they want freedom for all, but only freedom to do the things they personally approve of. Or people will say they accept those who are different from themselves but then balk when someone is "too" different.
I'm not sure people realize their narrow view of things all the time.