Why do I feel like I was born to a higher level of consciousness?

And that I was blessed with super attractiveness and independence. When I was homeless at 18 I had my friend tell me he actually wanted to hang out with me because I was lucky.
I have been to foreign countries by myself. Seen a lot of perspectives on spirituality.
When I was little I would talk to everyone I came across,
which I don't remember much but now I talk to no one.
In school,
I hated school I dropped out but I miss those days the most because I had places to go.
I feel like part of me died when I started getting into enlightenment and traveled by myself.
Wanting to sit in silence for days.