i like smoking and i hate it

i dont like the part when the nicotine kills my lung cells and destroys the cilia of my cells so its pretty difficult to secrete saliva and at the same time a high risk of bronchitis could happen, i also dont like the part where my blood pressure and pulse rate, respiration rate as well increases.also when my brain doesnt get enough oxygen because of it.but i kinda like the feeling of being calm because of it.idk probably the dopamine.im really confused if i should stop smoking