Do you feel that those people that always blame their exes just aren't cognizant of their own behavior?

my first wife I did blame ,she smoked weed and she drank ,
she quit because she got so messed up when I was at work she left our baby in a play pen on the beach a block from our home ,,,I ran Boats and ships and saved lives ,I never screwed up because i was high ,but she did ,and now wants me to quit too ,,so yea I blamed her when she left me for another man who GREW WEED and didn't work ,He lived with his Mom ,she takes our kids from me tells everyone I'm an addict and she can't live with an addict ,but turns out her Dad and the man she married were partners ,,I never even knew the red neck smoked ,let alone sold the stuff ,
So yea ,mt poor second wife did catch hell for the actions of my first wife ,and again ,she smoked ,,she got hurt on the job and had to go to the hospital for stitch's ,and workmans comp wanted her drug tested ,but I paid the hospital bill and her boss let her slide on the drug test ,,but it scared her and she quit ,
I am building mansions all over the country and I am not the one getting hurt ,but now I have to quit ?
but after she left ,I did find out what was more important .
Could I do it all again I would have done anything for either of them ,
I was so hurt by my second wife I got saved ,I got clean ,and have been now over 23 yrs
So what do I do ? I put up with an addict 15 yrs ,because I do not want to do to someone else what i had done to me ,,left over addictions
but when I finally have her the option rehab or the door ,,guess what she chooses ?but now her butt is clean ,cause if she does not stay that way I'll take our son ,I won't take anything without a script for our son ,she better not
and I have a very bad back ,I at least had a reason why I smoked and drank ,
I was trying to make a living in pain
not one of the 3 of them has a man that works ,,,not one
my first wife is on husband #4