Are there times that you have to be mean and hurt someone very bad to help them?

@MethDozer: did you read my question? If you did, how should I help her? She been hanging with them stupid girls and she told me they been in and out of jail. She doesn't wanna listen.

@BigDana27: Yes I did. I been there. On both sides of that coin.
It's just a shitty fact of life you have to let some people fall down to the bottom before they can get out of their pit. Sometimes you lose the friendship. However being in a friendship where they are going to fault you for looking our for them and caring for their well being isn't5 a great friendship to be in. You do service excusing the destructive behaviour. Same goes for being around someone you care about but drives you to scream and upset them making them feel worse and defensive causing them to sink deeper into the behaviour. It's a really tough situation with no easy answers. You do have to put yourself first and find how much of your own energy and sanity you are able to balance with being around them. How their decisions affects you and your mental state has to be a factor considering they don't seem to care about their own. Sometimes being a friend means creating some distance until they decide to care. It's a decision you have to make for yourself as only you know how you can handle being there. Either you can accept them as being one who makes bad decisions or you can't without becoming toxic to them and yourself.