i just need to get this off my chest. I've made very big mistakes in my life that cause me so much regret and sadness

When I look back at my past actions I can see I did things out of insecurity and selfishness, and even though I forgive myself because I know it has taught me a lot and not to repeat my actions, apart of me feels like I am too easy on myself and dont deserve that, I feel like everyday is a battle just to feel okay with myself when I don't even know how to start