I just need to get this off my chest...

My entire life I'm struggling with my weight. I was a skinny child, I was in dance and gymnastics. But someone somewhere told me I was Fat! because I wasn't a size 0. Today was the first day of me starting a weight loss journey I had been working out for months but I just started a diet today. I meal preped for the first time. And the entire day I felt like I was starving!!! And it just brought me back to being 14 with an eating disorder. Starving myself for weeks because I felt ugly. Even tho I wasn't fat at all. And now here I am like 40 pounds over weight. Trying to do it the heathy way and feel more confident on my 21st birhday in 2 months. Yet here I am crying my eyes out because Today I felt like I was 14 again fighting those self hatred thoughts saying... you deserve to feel hungry because you did this to your body. I'm not obese. But I'm not fit. I just want to feel confident and beautiful and love my body and I just don't feel like I'm ever going to be good enough. Diets just f...... suck!

SW-User

I battled the same thing but at twice your age. Found myself slowly gaining weight in my 30s and at 42 I had enough...cut out carbs and sugar and went to 500 calories a day and started stretching. Nothing more for the first few weeks. Pounds started melting off. I took pictures of my progress for motivation.

Now this part soinds weird but it really helped me. I would lie in bed every night and just feel my body. I felt sexy. I felt fit. I felt good.

Its been 9 months now and the weight is still off and now I'm trying to gain some back in muscle.

The journey is rewarding. Keep it up. Let yourself indulge every once in awhile. You deserve it.