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Aside from sounding out the two letters, N and O, how do you say no when you have a desire to be kind to others? How do you find balance?

There has to be a way of finding balance ...helping others and yet not depriving yourself of "you time." How do you do it?
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You might say sweetly, "I'm sorry, that just wouldn't work for me, but thanks for thinking of me." Then that's it. You do NOT explain yourself.