What's the difference between men in the 60s and men nowadays?
Men these days are more good looking lol
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I'm just going to say it. It's the truth. Men in the 60's were [b]real gentlemen.[/b] At least they [b]acted[/b] like it. It was unheard of for a date to [b]expect[/b] you to dish out on the first date, or any [i]other[/i] date, and the girls actually acted like [b]ladies[/b] and saved themselves for marriage. 😱 Unheard of today, both accounts, and that is such a shame. It's far from old-fashioned thinking. It's respecting yourself and each other enough to have morals and integrity about yourself. Sadly, something we've lost in this generation. What an [b]insult[/b] to try each other out before marriage, like a cheap bag of chips. Surely, we think more of ourselves than that! And if [b]you[/b] don't, I guarantee, your partner won't either. Where there's no respect, there's no relationship. Same with honesty and faithfulness. Where there's no boundaries, there's no foundation for a good start. No wonder marriages fail.
SW-User
I think premarital sex is just about feelings you know. People nowadays have more free thinkings, they're not caged in these um boundaries which are not permanently stable and authentic. I'm not talking about cheating and all of that, coz those are undeniably wrong for true. What I'm saying is premarital sex is not so bad like how you think it is. Why should we save ourselves, our emotions, our feelings, our freedom of choices for someone who might not be the right one for us? Moreover, we never know when the love of our lives will show up, it can take forever or perhaps..never. And in the end, we could end up being alone, living in regrets by thinking about all the fun of life that we've missed out on
I appreciate a different point of view on this, but here is another way to look at this delicate subject, from God's perspective. There is much more to consider, but here are just a few things to begin with.
Young people (and older, too) are bombarded with the world’s standards of morality, or immorality. The values and moral standards which were endorsed by most Americans in years past are now ridiculed and/or ignored by many. Teaching on sexual purity before and after marriage is no longer held before young people as a law of God nor even an ideal goal to strive for. So-called sexual freedom is flaunted as the norm among teen agers and adults and often those are ridiculed who expect and encourage young people to remain virgins until marriage. God’s law is plain: “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body; but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” (1 Cor. 6:18).
Unequal levels of commitment is an effect that is nearly always present in premarital sex and can bring emotional devastation. Especially for girls and women, the sex act has a psychologically binding effect. Sex increases the feeling of closeness to the partner. When this is not shared, one partner is always vulnerable to rejection. “What if I don’t please him any longer?” If the boy is not as committed, the girl may feel she is merely being used by the guy to fulfill his physical lust. God’s design for marriage brings protection against emotional suffering and builds self esteem as we realize we are unique creatures made in the image of our Creator. The sexual bonding as he created it in marriage is for our good. A young person who uses self control to say “no” to sex outside of marriage is building discipline and security into future relationships, because waiting gives your mind and body time to mature. If we do not learn to develop self-control before marriage, it makes it easier for a lack of self-control to lead to extra-marital affairs during marriage.
There was a 31-year-old woman I talked to, whose life is filled with guilt. She began having sex at age 19. She has admitted to having sex with five different men. She has never been married, but would like very much to be married. I asked her why she began having sex, and she said it was to create a bond, hoping that she would be able to hold on to her boyfriend. I asked her, “Did it work?” “No,” she admitted. “Then why do you think it’s going to work now?” She didn’t have an answer. I repeated to her the old adage, “Why should he buy the bakery when he gets the sweets for free?” God teaches that our body is the dwelling place of God, described in 1 Corinthians 6 as a temple of the Holy Spirit. Sexual immorality disgraces God’s temple.
There is no gift as special and sacred as the giving of one’s body. But if we give it again and again before giving it to our marriage companion, it will have lost its sacred meaning.
There is often disappointment and regret at lost virginity. When we lose something we know is valuable, we feel regret. I do not know how many young people have told me, “I wish I had waited.” God’s way to protect us from that is to reserve sex for marriage. There is no chance of heartache later when our first sexual experience is with the person we will spend our lives with. When we wait until the wedding night, we have a most [b]special gift[/b] that has been reserved for our chosen lifelong companion alone. We establish a bond of trust and love that has no equal. God’s design to limit sex to marriage protects us from hurting each other, and provides the proper setting in which to express love through sex. @Alex1610:
Young people (and older, too) are bombarded with the world’s standards of morality, or immorality. The values and moral standards which were endorsed by most Americans in years past are now ridiculed and/or ignored by many. Teaching on sexual purity before and after marriage is no longer held before young people as a law of God nor even an ideal goal to strive for. So-called sexual freedom is flaunted as the norm among teen agers and adults and often those are ridiculed who expect and encourage young people to remain virgins until marriage. God’s law is plain: “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body; but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” (1 Cor. 6:18).
Unequal levels of commitment is an effect that is nearly always present in premarital sex and can bring emotional devastation. Especially for girls and women, the sex act has a psychologically binding effect. Sex increases the feeling of closeness to the partner. When this is not shared, one partner is always vulnerable to rejection. “What if I don’t please him any longer?” If the boy is not as committed, the girl may feel she is merely being used by the guy to fulfill his physical lust. God’s design for marriage brings protection against emotional suffering and builds self esteem as we realize we are unique creatures made in the image of our Creator. The sexual bonding as he created it in marriage is for our good. A young person who uses self control to say “no” to sex outside of marriage is building discipline and security into future relationships, because waiting gives your mind and body time to mature. If we do not learn to develop self-control before marriage, it makes it easier for a lack of self-control to lead to extra-marital affairs during marriage.
There was a 31-year-old woman I talked to, whose life is filled with guilt. She began having sex at age 19. She has admitted to having sex with five different men. She has never been married, but would like very much to be married. I asked her why she began having sex, and she said it was to create a bond, hoping that she would be able to hold on to her boyfriend. I asked her, “Did it work?” “No,” she admitted. “Then why do you think it’s going to work now?” She didn’t have an answer. I repeated to her the old adage, “Why should he buy the bakery when he gets the sweets for free?” God teaches that our body is the dwelling place of God, described in 1 Corinthians 6 as a temple of the Holy Spirit. Sexual immorality disgraces God’s temple.
There is no gift as special and sacred as the giving of one’s body. But if we give it again and again before giving it to our marriage companion, it will have lost its sacred meaning.
There is often disappointment and regret at lost virginity. When we lose something we know is valuable, we feel regret. I do not know how many young people have told me, “I wish I had waited.” God’s way to protect us from that is to reserve sex for marriage. There is no chance of heartache later when our first sexual experience is with the person we will spend our lives with. When we wait until the wedding night, we have a most [b]special gift[/b] that has been reserved for our chosen lifelong companion alone. We establish a bond of trust and love that has no equal. God’s design to limit sex to marriage protects us from hurting each other, and provides the proper setting in which to express love through sex. @Alex1610:
SW-User
@GraceFromEP: Why did you bring God into this? You could just state your opinion without mentioning God, you get what I'm trying to imply here? Whether God's real or not is still a mystery
Emotional suffering can happen to anyone who participates in the sex, even married people. Marriage isn't always the ultimate and the most stable solution, you can't assure that two partners are always committed to each other. Also, I'm confused that if the girl knew that she was concerned about the sex ("what if I don't please him any longer?") or the boy was only using her as a sex object then why would she still do it with him? By the way, the fear of rejection is a common aspect in a relationship. It can occur anytime, even when the commitment is shown. That leads to "What if I still don't please him any longer?".
I don't believe that opposing to premarital sex is the same as training yourself to become a faithful partner in marriage. Premarital sex isn't bad, it's just sex before marriage, not some kind of negative influence for the future relationship. In fact, it's the other way around. People who've done sex before marriage are more experienced than people who haven't (I'm not encouraging people to have premarital sex, don't get me wrong). They know how to turn the heat up well and that definitely helps them earn more credits from their spouses. Now that's just some information about the benefits of premarital sex. I believe if someone is truly mature enough and they respect the significance of marriage, they will never let their desires out of control. There's a lot of people who've had premarital sex and never cheated on their soul mates. You can see that right here on SW.
I agree that our virginity is a precious, sacred thing, cause once we've lost it, we'll lose it forever. You've got a point about disappointment and regret, but this is about premarital sex, not about individual decisions with no or bad beforehand consideration that people've made. Our virginity is reserved for no one, it's reserved for us and us only. It wasn't naturally and originally made to vanish. You see, we choose to whether keep it or not, it's all up to us. Anyway, even though we've given our virginity to our lifelong partner, it still can't guarantee that there won't be no possibility of heartbreaking due to the deed. What if our partner cheated on us? We never know. You know, the virginity will never lose its meaningfulness as long as we give it away without feeling regretted afterwards.
Emotional suffering can happen to anyone who participates in the sex, even married people. Marriage isn't always the ultimate and the most stable solution, you can't assure that two partners are always committed to each other. Also, I'm confused that if the girl knew that she was concerned about the sex ("what if I don't please him any longer?") or the boy was only using her as a sex object then why would she still do it with him? By the way, the fear of rejection is a common aspect in a relationship. It can occur anytime, even when the commitment is shown. That leads to "What if I still don't please him any longer?".
I don't believe that opposing to premarital sex is the same as training yourself to become a faithful partner in marriage. Premarital sex isn't bad, it's just sex before marriage, not some kind of negative influence for the future relationship. In fact, it's the other way around. People who've done sex before marriage are more experienced than people who haven't (I'm not encouraging people to have premarital sex, don't get me wrong). They know how to turn the heat up well and that definitely helps them earn more credits from their spouses. Now that's just some information about the benefits of premarital sex. I believe if someone is truly mature enough and they respect the significance of marriage, they will never let their desires out of control. There's a lot of people who've had premarital sex and never cheated on their soul mates. You can see that right here on SW.
I agree that our virginity is a precious, sacred thing, cause once we've lost it, we'll lose it forever. You've got a point about disappointment and regret, but this is about premarital sex, not about individual decisions with no or bad beforehand consideration that people've made. Our virginity is reserved for no one, it's reserved for us and us only. It wasn't naturally and originally made to vanish. You see, we choose to whether keep it or not, it's all up to us. Anyway, even though we've given our virginity to our lifelong partner, it still can't guarantee that there won't be no possibility of heartbreaking due to the deed. What if our partner cheated on us? We never know. You know, the virginity will never lose its meaningfulness as long as we give it away without feeling regretted afterwards.
Alex, I've read your comments, and I honestly knew you would reply in that way, and you make very valid points. You're right. There [i]are[/i] no guarantees. Any of those things can happen. They are all "real life" scenarios. However, for me, I look at it from a Christian perspective, and even if none agree with me or my views, that doesn't mean my points are not true or valid. It just means we'll have to agree to disagree, with mutual respect. The bottom line as I see it, is that there are rules. We can see from life that the choices we make in life, have consequences. When we break the law, we pay for it. Now, we may not always get caught, but it is still breaking the law, and it's still wrong and sooner or later it will catch up with us. That goes with anything in life. If we do our own thing, without regard for the law, there are always consequences, whether we see them now, or later.
The Owners Manual for my car, states that if I'm to maintain my car and ensure it lasts longer, I must change the oil every 4,000 miles. Now, I don't have to follow nor regard those suggestions, but if I don't, my car isn't going to last very long. That's the consequences of my disregarding the manual instructions. This world, like it or not, is set up the same way. There's a right way and there's a wrong way to live, and the Bible was given as our instruction manual so that we could have the best life possible and no one, nor any thing, can top it's wisdom. We can dismiss it and call it foolish or a fairytale, yet that doesn't change God's plan nor rules to live by. Our decisions have no rule over God's plan for mankind. No one [i]has[/i] to obey, but they should realize that their disobedience has consequences. So just as there are man-made laws to live by, there are also spiritual laws we must live by. Since God is my Creator, I live by His instructions, because I know they are meant for my good. And just as a judge is just for fining a speeder, so is God just for disciplining sin. In fact, He's perfect and cannot sin. That makes Him just, as well. He is the one who sees into and knows our future, so sure, I am going to trust that He, in all His wisdom, knows what's best for me, as I certainly am not smarter, nor wiser than God. And when God tells me that sex outside of marriage is fornication, you better believe I'm going to listen, because I have seen the consequences of it throughout history. Am I going to question His wisdom, or call him on it by doing my own selfish thing and having my own way just because I think it's right and it "feels good"? What an insult to God's intelligence. No way!! But that's why people swear there is no God. They don't want to take responsibility for their disobedience to Him. But what they don't realize is that they'll be required to stand before Him one day, whether they believe in Him or not. Just as our earthly father is just for disciplining his children in love, so is God just in disciplining those He loves, and He [b]loves[/b] us [b]all.[/b] Discipline is [i]always[/i] for our own good. @Alex1610:
The Owners Manual for my car, states that if I'm to maintain my car and ensure it lasts longer, I must change the oil every 4,000 miles. Now, I don't have to follow nor regard those suggestions, but if I don't, my car isn't going to last very long. That's the consequences of my disregarding the manual instructions. This world, like it or not, is set up the same way. There's a right way and there's a wrong way to live, and the Bible was given as our instruction manual so that we could have the best life possible and no one, nor any thing, can top it's wisdom. We can dismiss it and call it foolish or a fairytale, yet that doesn't change God's plan nor rules to live by. Our decisions have no rule over God's plan for mankind. No one [i]has[/i] to obey, but they should realize that their disobedience has consequences. So just as there are man-made laws to live by, there are also spiritual laws we must live by. Since God is my Creator, I live by His instructions, because I know they are meant for my good. And just as a judge is just for fining a speeder, so is God just for disciplining sin. In fact, He's perfect and cannot sin. That makes Him just, as well. He is the one who sees into and knows our future, so sure, I am going to trust that He, in all His wisdom, knows what's best for me, as I certainly am not smarter, nor wiser than God. And when God tells me that sex outside of marriage is fornication, you better believe I'm going to listen, because I have seen the consequences of it throughout history. Am I going to question His wisdom, or call him on it by doing my own selfish thing and having my own way just because I think it's right and it "feels good"? What an insult to God's intelligence. No way!! But that's why people swear there is no God. They don't want to take responsibility for their disobedience to Him. But what they don't realize is that they'll be required to stand before Him one day, whether they believe in Him or not. Just as our earthly father is just for disciplining his children in love, so is God just in disciplining those He loves, and He [b]loves[/b] us [b]all.[/b] Discipline is [i]always[/i] for our own good. @Alex1610: