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So serious question here...

How do I get my dog to stop jumping up?

Whenever he greets a stranger he gets all hyped up and then he comes to me desperately wanting me to pick him up.
He jumps and jumps even if I tell him to stop.
Pulling at my clothes, almost like he's trying to get away.
When he falls on his back I can't help but pick him up and then I tell him to calm down.
His hearts racing and I calm him down.
I then say to him I will put you down now.

He stays still I put my hand on his chest and tell him to calm down.

And he resumes his normal behaviour.

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easterniowegin · 51-55, M

I was always told to take your knee or foot and get the dog with it while it's jumping on you. The impact will have him rethinking his desire to jump, if it results in discomfort to his tummy...and he won't see you use your hands, so won't associate the action with you.