Is your personality very different from the mask you put on?

@Torsten why not?

@popmol we are talking about a figurative one right?

[@Torstenthat was my goal but it could be a physical one

@popmol life is too short to pretend to be something you're not

@Torsten in our current society where you can easily get to 60 let alone 100 where if you show your true self you'll be ridiculed, bullied, stabbed in the back or even killed i'd prefer with my mask on!

@popmol fair enough.
I cant do that though. I did that for a fair while and I cant go back to that. I will gladly take what comes from it

@Torsten well you are far into your adult years, i'm just starting, also for me its something i physically had to learn. i was too honest with my autism for this world so i had no choice

@popmol exactly and I wish I did it when I was younger.
I am sure you will do what is best for you. I wouldn't put too much thought into the opinion of others though if that means you think you cant be yourself

@Torsten i couldn't be myself for several reasons and now i'm working to resolve that!

@popmol well I dont know your circumstances or what you going through but I am sure you will get there soon

@Torsten well short rundown is, anger runs in our family, autism too, combine the 2 and i wasn't normal when young. learned to keep it in but no way to release it now i'm a husk of my former self with a shell made of bad traits and thoughts.
learning to take of my mask and let it all go and be myself is tough.

@popmol sounds like you need a outlet to release that anger is some way. Ever thought of taking up boxing lessons or something like that where you can release anger in a safe trained environment?

@Torsten one of the issues is most of my problems are locked on self or otherwise created mental locks. one of these i placed on myself at a young age that i'm afraid of hurting people.
it makes me not want to work out so i can't hurt anyone but also means i'll have trouble losing weight.
making me both sad and happy at the same time!
its quite annoying and thats why i don't want a sport for fighting or even defending because i'm afraid i'll hurt others.

@popmol what about martial arts in that case. They dont just teach you martial arts. They teach you a lot about self control and more. Also its great exercise and yeah you never know aye

@Torsten well i just can't! i will not gain any skill for hurting others even if its to protect others. i can't trust myself!

@popmol alright man. Do whats best for you

@Torsten i'm trying :) and thanks!