if ever I have baby (from abuse) I'm planning to kill myself after the baby was born

You may be feeling attacked right now, but it's not the case. People are mentioning the consequences of what you said because no one wants to see you end your life. plus we are trying to let you know what could very well happen to the child if you did go through with it. If you suffered abuse then you need help, and if you are pregnant because of it you have options. Worst case give the child up for adoption.

People can't judge you for not being able to raise a child born under those circumstances. But right now take things one step at a time and talk to people, even us on here