I'm all for humour, aren't you? But ...
How can we be expected to answer some of these questions seriously when there is no indication that they are in fact "serious" and genuinely seeking help, guidance and support. (Most aren't fooled by the attention seekers, well I hope not.) It's so easy to be frivolous, I'm guilty of that myself because that's my way of coping. It doesn't help those though who are genuinely in need, just wanting someone to understand, in some/any way. I wish I knew the answer.