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What could this dream have meant?

I had a dream that I and someone who bullied me in the first semester of 11th grade were cleaning out my dads house. My parents are divorced and back when I was in school I had to go to my dads house every two weeks. There was a lot of drama back then. Ten years later I feel some of the memories are holding me back. I still have dislike towards the bully even though I've seen him a few times since High School and we were on good terms. My dad let his ex girlfriend live in his old house. I remember in my dream me and the bully were cleaning out a lot of stuff in my dads house and the bully did tease me about trying to attack me with the power tools. I remember feeling uneasy. I also remember a girl (she was a nice girl) I went to school with showed up and helped. Also there were stacks of Star Wars Legends books in the house, some were ones that I owned and others that I plan to get. I remember seeing one of the books and thinking I've read that. I also thought if I take these books home I'll have to get some new ones to replace them because these were in such used conditions. This dream was also at night. I have anxiety attacks a lot and I've been trying to put the past behind so what could this mean?

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curiosi · 61-69, F

Forgiveness is holding you back from putting the past behind you.
He teased you about attacking him with power tools. Deep inside you want to do that. You feel uneasy because that isn't who you are. You are nice like the girl that was helping, you want to help people like that.
Stacks of Star wars books some that you owned, some you plan to get.........It's in the past you wish to move forward and in doing so you will have a new life (like new books)
"I'll have to get some new ones to replace them........"
Once you forgive your new life will be available to you.
Forgiveness is not an easy thing and we feel justified in our anger and rightfully so. Thing is our anger is hurting us and not the person we are angry with. It's a process. The way out of it is to be aware when it rises up in us. Take a breath and say to yourself "I release it". Only you know how long this will take but just keep being aware of it and releasing it, then it just happens one day you realize it's gone.

storykid · 31-35, M

@curiosi In school the bully used to threaten to burn me with a soldering iron, he did do it one time but just a little bit. He hit me a few times before. I want to meet a girl and just move on from the past.

curiosi · 61-69, F

@storykid It was extremely traumatic which is what makes it so hard to forgive.

storykid · 31-35, M

@curiosi I try to use music to put it behind me. I also think when I meet a girl that I'll feel much better because I'll be looking forward to what me and her are going to do together.

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