depressed big time ..my son is gone !! my little cat he is only 1 year old ..my special baby boy ..Omg its just pain that can never end ..

Its horrible feelings .. watching him sick and so badly ..and he is fighting and the painful thing that he was terrified ..every sound he listen to or anything ge just shocked and feel so afraid ..Omg i have never seen him that way.i was like no no no not him ..he cant die now..no way !! But it just happened..I should care for my other cats but my life is over ..this one of my children was so close to me..alwaus runing to me no matter what..his big sister was always attack him and fight with him and i run to take him away from her..it was unfair that he always feel fear of her and i dont knoe why she is always attack him and his other littlr sister..that made me so sad and feel so bad because of that..but he was ok ..and suddenly 2 days ago i found him walking slowly with a big full stomach ..he had a problem with his stomach and then he could bee ..but after that he stopped eating ,only drink water..and refused the food i tried many things to eat but ge refused ..then i tried to ask doctors or someone online to tell me then the medecine he took but he slept on the floor and insist on doing that, that caused him low temperature ,then i tried to get him medecine or to feed him in his mouth but no benfit so still low temperature ..that was so hard..i felt like iam cursed ,When you try to help but you dind out you might make it worse !!!!omg iam really feeling crazy in pain !!!! I buried him few hours ago by my hands..i can see him everywhere ,he is my precious child ..I love him so much my little baby ..i wish i could be dead but not him !!