...........

I'm pretty upset at my family. I never get noticed when I make a silly video, or even liked by them. I meantion it's my mothers death today and no one says anything. I feel very upset. No one will ever know how hard it was for me to grow up without parents, siblings or friends. No one cared that I never even gotten any closure.... no one has ever been there for me. I dont feel loved. And it hurts knowing I dont exist. I never mentioned anything before because I've been putting it off in my mind for too long that its consumed who I am. I stay away because I know no one has ever wanted my presence. I don't know why my mother took her life. I dont know why she left me alone. I dont know why my father hurt me. I dont know why I was the way before. I dont know why I keep going. But, I'm so hurt I dont want to post this out. What's worse, is that I feel that I do not matter. But at the same time, it needs to be said and I need to be heard. Before I end up in her footsteps...

I posted this on fb so they all see it. They have ignored me my whole life. And for years I have been sending things like silly videos, memes, and writing to them and I never get a reply... now I've gone and Crack.