Do you crave social connection?

Somewhat. I crave a connection that can be shared both ways. Have that "someone" to run to and share secrets with, or even emotional feelings. I crave to hear someone else's pain, or make them laugh when they are down.
But the reality of it all, I personally distance myself out of the blue, and even though I want to connect, I also want to be left alone. But I don't really want to be left alone. I want to express my feelings, but simply can't find words out loud to use.
So it's best I stand way back.
I'm hard to understand. Lol.