What stands between you and complete happiness?
Get detailed, be vulnerable, grow as a person.
B.
B.
31-35, M
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Toadily · F
I think it's a mix of my high expectations, but also low self awareness of my actions.
An example; say I'm looking for a job. In my head, I may think "I wish I had $20 bucks an hour, paid lunch, the best insurance, a nice boss, etc." But then, immediately feeling like all of that would be impossible (which, it is,) I might subconsciously lose hope of ever being truly fulfilled and then I settle for the first job that comes my way. That's an exaggeration, but overall, I shoot myself in the foot a lot. My thinking is much too black and white; too all or nothing.
I need to learn that much of life is a gray area between being adaptable but knowing what I don't have to accept.
An example; say I'm looking for a job. In my head, I may think "I wish I had $20 bucks an hour, paid lunch, the best insurance, a nice boss, etc." But then, immediately feeling like all of that would be impossible (which, it is,) I might subconsciously lose hope of ever being truly fulfilled and then I settle for the first job that comes my way. That's an exaggeration, but overall, I shoot myself in the foot a lot. My thinking is much too black and white; too all or nothing.
I need to learn that much of life is a gray area between being adaptable but knowing what I don't have to accept.
WildernessWriterExplorer · 31-35, M
@Toadily you never know. I have extremely high expectations. Sometimes they’re what makes us amazing.
Toadily · F
@WildernessWriterExplorer A person can have high expectations while also knowing that expectations will never be 100% met. Because that's what life is. But we adapt once we realize we've put in our all, and our idea of how things SHOULD be will shift based on how things play out ("I don't have a mansion like I wanted, but at least I have a nice home.") Regardless I'm not ignorant enough to believe I'll get everything I want, no matter what my expectations are.
The problem is simply giving up too easily.
The problem is simply giving up too easily.
WildernessWriterExplorer · 31-35, M
@Toadily I think you have to just set standards but maybe change your criteria. For instance I knew when I went to college I wanted to go for a degree that paid well, wouldn’t burn out so I had job security, and then also allowed me to travel. I managed to find all of that. But you’re right don’t give up early. They’re your dreams.