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Would you let someone who ruined your past into your present?

The answer is easily No! Being in my 30's now; the world seems a lot more clear. My narcissistic mother ruined the first 25 years of my life, I finally broke free. She's highly toxic and over the years I discovered her hateful behavior is not even accidental she really loves to see me fall. Also she's hard to get rid of. The past couple of years I've only talk to her on the phone, but guess what now she wants to visit me. I'm mostly still respectful so now she's trying to claw her way back. I would never allow her to guilt trip me or take advantage of my kindness ever again. Should I cut her off for good? She's always imposing but from distance it's fine, I just don't wanna see her in person!

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PhoenixPhail · M

I don't [i]consciously[/i] let someone who ruined my past into my present, but sometimes, one might sneak in.

I had a narcissistic mother, as well. VERY toxic. It was always hard when she wanted to come and visit me, but I would allow it just to keep the peace. It was easier than dealing with her reactions when I didn't accommodate her needs (demands).

Should you cut off your mother for good? Nah. Just cut off her her needs having any control over you. There may be a way to talk with her sometimes without getting drawn into her shit.