How to deal with depression after failed suicide attempt?

I’ve called the suicide hotline and they hung up on me several times, I don’t know what I’m supposed to anymore I tried giving my heart to someone and she turned her back on me... I really do hate living, I’m tired of trying to make myself happy and I just know I can truly never be happy I’m miserable and I do hate my life I wish I was dead every time I wake up... I know of nothing worth my life here on earth, people keep telling me I have a purpose for living and I know that I don’t I give time a chance because if I do something will come around but it won’t last long.. I’m tired of emotions, I’m tired of making people happy at the expense of me being miserable I don’t feel anything anymore