what do you need in life

Oh, good one!

that can be arranged

@rageandhate: The best part is that was a serious answer, as well as a challenge issued to you!

@KingofPizza: what is this serious you speak of?

@rageandhate: Oh, like "hey, check it out, you've got some SERIOUS doom coming your way!"

*mashes big ominous red button*

@KingofPizza: hahahahaaha 😫 oh no im so scared!! good thing is that you forgot it was strapped to your watch

@rageandhate: Noooooooo!!!!!

*watch starts blinking 12:00*

I had an alarm in there to go home and record my stories!

@KingofPizza: well this whole thing backfired

@rageandhate: For me! YOU get the pleasure of knowing that I don't get to see the resolution of Jack and Malcolm discovering they're twins, and then Victor comes out of the coma and reveals some big secret about Phyllis! 😭

@KingofPizza: well guess what, phyllis DIES. thats right dont fuck with me.

@rageandhate: Real dies or like fakes her own death like in seasons 3, 12, and twice in 18?

@KingofPizza: no this time she faked it again but accidentally fell into a pit of mayonnaise covered with leaves.

@rageandhate: Let's hope they were basil or oregano leaves!

Hey wait a minute how have you seen this already? Curse you and your +8 or so time zone difference!

i know because i'm a wizard evil person i can see the future!! dont underestimate me king i see shit.

What kind of wizard we talking here? Harry Potter? Lord of the Rings? Dungeons and Dragons? Something else?

I gotta find out what I'm up against!

@KingofPizza: its a mixture of 28 days later zombie, voldemort and vampire.

@rageandhate: Ooooooooh... ominous!

*starts making some garlic bread to go stab your horcruxes with*

@KingofPizza: dammit why did you make me tell you!! next time can you not ask personal things THANK YOU!!

@rageandhate: Muahahahaha there won't be a next time, once this finishes toasting it's curtains for you!

Oh dang that smells good...

*eats it all*

@KingofPizza: so uh what exactly are you then? *whistles calmly*

@rageandhate: Who me? Uh, nothing.

*quickly throws a blanket over my sarcophagus*

@KingofPizza: i will unroll that toilet paper believe me.

@rageandhate: You can try! But I assure you I bought the double roll! ON SALE! Muahahaha...

@KingofPizza: *lights a match* hehehehehe

@rageandhate: Oh yeah? *prematurely shoots self with fire extinguisher*