@JohnDillinger maybe it's just how I read it. the first is stating individual preferences - but I do agree that a blanket statement like "I don't like fat women / black women" etc. does paint entire populations negatively... how about giving INDIVIDUALS a chance by getting to know them, and not basing attraction entirely on the package they come in?
The second seems to make sweeping generalizations without any facts to back it up, and touches on several issues.
- the article acknowledges that yeah, some bigger women DO seek bigger guys - negating the inflammatory title of the piece - it's fairly common that big people do pair up (either as big people, or they grow fat together) - bigger women are often expected to take what they can get and be grateful for it - how is that fair? - makes it sounds like because they are big, they shouldn't be allowed to desire or be attracted to anyone not fat (yet fit guys with a fat fetish are seemingly ok seeking someone outside of their body type).
So because I'm over weight (whether it be due to lifestyle, genetics, medical condition or any combo of those) I'm only allowed to be seek heavy men?
[quote] If I may, do you find men shorter than you attractive and would you rather date short men exclusively?[/quote]
I am tall(ish) for a woman and yes, I've dated several short guys. My personal preference would be for a man taller than I am, but height is not and has never been a deal breaker.
Maybe you think it's a cliché, but I am really more interested in what he has to offer personality wise - is he intelligent? kind? does he make me laugh and feel important to him?
[quote]People should choose for themselves which individuals they will give a chance to based on whatever standards and preference they see fit for themselves. Attraction cannot be forced. If someone's preferences hurts another's feelings that's just too bad.[/quote]
I guess so...but I just personally don't like when anybody writes off an entire segment of the population without giving the individual a chance. While my preference might be for a tall guy, that doesn't mean I wouldn't look at, or consider dating a short guy. That's what I was trying to say.
People who write off all heavy people (be they large ladies or big blokes) or someone based on their skin colour, their height, hair colour etc. are pre-judging the person, and possibly missing out on someone great because they can't see past the outer layer.
[quote]Fair in contrast to what? The same is expected of fat men. [/quote]
True. I only focused on women as that was the main thrust of both articles posted.
One might argue that old adage of "men will sacrifice brains for looks while women will sacrifice looks for brains" I can't find the original quote, but there may be something here (again, I'd want to see the research) about how many men value a woman's looks over her intelligence and other traits, while women are more concerned with a man's personality over his looks (not saying they don't play a part, just not to the degree as it does for men); so maybe a heavy man has a better chance than a heavy woman?
[quote] We're constantly told that big is beautiful, real men love curves or some variation of the two and it's mostly big women who will tout these expressions ad nauseam. If it be true that big is beautiful, then why aren't these big beautiful women lining up to date big beautiful men? Preference? Standards? Well perhaps they should be:[/quote]
Here's where the article lacks any stats, so I can't take a side on this one way or the other. I think both heavy men and women are left at the outside of the dating pool. But as my comments suggested...it's very very common to see a heavy couple versus one slim and one heavy partner.
Many women love a big guys (brawny, husky, 'dad bod', however they like to describe them. Remember...always marry a big guy...warmth in the winter and shade in the summer :)
[quote] Why make example of fit men? What of fat men? What are they told when they express a desire for women outside of their body type? [/quote]
just drawing from my own personal experience and what I've seen as what is acceptable. Fit guys that are 'chubby chasers' or with a fat fetish seem to be accepted. They aren't told (like fat women AND men are) to "stick to your own kind" (i.e. a slim fit woman)
