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How do you deal with a tough bossy 11 year old girl?

I worked with the higher special needs kids and this 11 year old girl I think she is bossy. She is demanding, when kids try to mess with her, she backs them off, she isn't afraid to speak her mind and she can sound harsh sometimes. She is kind and caring but dont mess with her kind of girl. Some students find her very difficult. The teacher told me, "She may be a bit difficult but she knows what she wants and she gets it. It's a good thing, ESPECIALLY for girls."
I told her mom she was acting like a brat and a little demanding. Her mom says, "Excuse me? You have no right to say that to my daughter. She isn't any of those things. She is assertive and tough girl. That's fine because she will be successful in the future. That's how I want her to be. She has a sense of self and knows what she wants but I still gotta guide her. I rather have her be an assertive tough, strong girl than a too nice, quiet, timid girl. She gets her attitude from me which is a good thing. Leave my daughter alone!" I gotta work with these kids again today. :(
Salix75 · 46-50, F
so, she doesn't let other kids mess her about,
she knows what she wants and she speaks her mind,
she goes after what she wants,
she has a strong sense of self ...
... these all sound like good traits to me!!

she's young and special needs, so she (like ALL kids) need time to mature and learn to balance these strengths against social niceties
Salix75 · 46-50, F
@MartinTheFirst how many kids have you raised? lol Better to raise a child who will stand up for them-self than be a shrinking violet

There's so much unknown in this situation. Quite likely the mum IS teaching her manners. Also the other kids sounds overly sensitive. Communication is a 2-way street - the 11 year old may not intend to be harsh, or be unaware she's coming across as harsh. We don't know the full scenario
MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M
@Salix75 better to raise a child who has manners than an asshole

And thats why you teach the 11 y/o she is being harsh
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Alfarrobas · 31-35, M
There's an small and fine line that separates an asshole from an assertive person. Are you sure you are seeing it well? She can just be assertive.
And are you sure that the problem is the girl? Or in the girl?
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Alfarrobas · 31-35, M
@IAmBianca96 Maybe you are not confortable with it. Maybe you are not used to it. Maybe you don't know how to solve.
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Catdady15 · M
Lacking discipline. Special needs or not, a lot of times people feel sorry for people with special needs so they give them whatever they want. Bad idea.
be a little tough on her but not too tough she will never learn her lesson if she does not get taught that her behavior is not good.
MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M
Tell her daughter to knock it off. True she's the parent, but when she's in your class then she follows your rules.
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