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Is it rude online or just in real life?

If someone is polite and says hello to you in real life it would be rude not to respond. Is that not the case online? We have all had that person that makes us a little uncomfortable the tries to start a conversation with us in public. We wave smile and then keep it moving. Is that not the case in the cyber world is it OK to just ignore people? Perhaps I am just older and I am not cool enough to understand the ways of the cyber world but please comment I am curious.

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Keepitsimple · 51-55, F

Very different here. We need to look at profiles and see what the person is about first. If they have a sleazy profile chances are they won’t get a response. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Keepitsimple · 51-55, F

It’s just easier to not reply and have a discussion about it is all.@MountainMonk89

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@Keepitsimple I thank you for taking the time to respond. A person could have something sleazy on their profile but that does not mean that is what they wish to speak to you about. It is very hard to express something about yourself and then show a different part of yourself to someone else. I saw a homeless man yesterday. I offered him some food and something to drink. You saw that I had some wood in the back of my truck and he asked what I was about to build. I told him that I was going to finish my basement. The man was an employed contractor who had went through divorce and suffered from depression. If I had only saw him as a homeless man I would have missed out I think that is my point. So often we see people the way we wish to instead of taking the time to see what they are really about. I hope you have a great day and thank you for your feedback.

Keepitsimple · 51-55, F

It’s very different in the real world though. You have no idea what a person is about and they can present themself anyway they would like but here there is a background representing their activity and you can get an idea of what they are here for or like to talk about. So as a woman if their profile is all about sex chances are they won’t get a response. A profile is the first impression you give off here.@Capt11

Bassplayer · 56-60, M

The cyber world is easy. People are shitty to each other and are opinionated in a way they would never be in real life. All because they can hide behind a fake identity. I don’t think you can apply the rules of a real works to what happens on line. I read a study a while ago that found at least half the people online admit to lying regularly and a third admit that absolutely everything they post online is a complete fabrication. Not great odds.

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Bassplayer · 56-60, M

It’s tough. I mean it would be in my nature to just reply to everyone also. But there are just so many people who exist on line to just stir up crap and somehow get joy from that. I don’t get it. But then I tend to treat people as I’d liked to be treeated. @Capt11

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@Bassplayer You are correct is hard to reply to everyone. I try to imagine that everyone is very busy and they use online time as a way to escape. I understand it is hard but it is not too difficult to send a quick emoji or to just say thank you have a good day. With our technology we can even pre program a responses into our phone.

Bassplayer · 56-60, M

Sure. You are right. Life whether online or in real life is about choices. Do I spend time on someone I don’t known who doesn’t care about me or instead focus more of my time on those that matter. Time really is the most precious commodity so I tend to try to spend it as wisely as possible. @Capt11

fallnhope · 36-40, F

I live in a friendly state, everyone smiles and waves to each other no matter. I know that since I'm friendly towards my neighbors, I know what cars they drive and what people to expect at their house. There's been a few times where I spotted an odd car and called the sheriff because it didn't belong.... had I not been friendly, I would have never known and the vehicle could have easily been there to rob me. Online, however, there isn't anything to go off of when there's just a hi or hello. I don't do small talk in person and have trouble carrying on conversations - that still translates online. When I don't return a hello it's because I don't like what I see in the profile or there's just nothing for me to say.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@fallnhope From what you wrote I can understand. If someone just says hello or Hi yes that is hard to respond to especially if the profile is not warm and inviting. However if you belong to a group and the person makes a comment about your group 4 ask a question why not respond?

fallnhope · 36-40, F

@Capt11 sometimes I'm not capable of responding and by the time I am, my mind goes haywire with different scenarios that I know will never happen but still can't shake. There are times I can't respond to people I've known for years.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@fallnhope I am not here to judge you I am just thankful that you took the time to respond to me. I hope you have a good day and always be who you are. I am sure you are a good person even though you may not always be able to express it.

Keepitsimple · 51-55, F

I don’t feel the need to acknowledge a message if I look at the profile and it’s all sex and them talking about humping bookends and they people shop. I don’t care if they have hurt feelings because I’m more pissed they bothered to text me.

WatercolourWildFlowers · 51-55, F

I think it's one thing to reply to someone in the real world just because you are polite, as you can just make excuses and walk on. Here it's not that easy, here some people take a simple polite response as an open invitation for them to be inappropriate and there is no where to walk off to. I don't think you can compare

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Capt11 · 51-55, M

@WatercolourWildFlowers I strongly disagree but I appreciate you taking the time to comment. On here you can block someone. In the real world a creepy stranger could follow you. Online you can just block them ignore them and even report them I actually think it is safer. I hope you have a good day and thanks once again.

WatercolourWildFlowers · 51-55, F

@Capt11 we can agree to disagree as I do not private message here nor do I speak to just anyone in the real world. I stopped forming any kind of friendship with anyone online after being stalked online...Not something that has happened in my real world ever. And I have worked in the corrective services.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

I am truly sorry that you have experienced that. I understand it because I watched a loved one go through it. I am sure because of that extreme experience you have a different point of view. I do not know if we will be friends however as a human I hope and pray that your heart will heal. I wish you safety and the best experiences from this point on. And even if we do not agree it still was an honor to be able to chat with you, have a good day.

ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F

I am polite and courteous online and off. I try to be me in both realms; however, I don’t reply to one-word messages here or messages about sex or fetishes if that’s the first encounter I have with someone. Based on past experiences, it’s not worth my time. I prefer conversations that are interesting and engaging with someone who knows how to write more than text speech. I’m up front about that in my About Me. If someone doesn’t bother to look at my profile or read my About Me, then they may get offended if I don’t reply. Oh well. Life can be rough. ;)

Lisasmiling · 46-50, F

I check out their profile. If they are way out there I don't reply

MethDozer · M

I think the nature of text communication makes it acceptable. Fact is we never know what the other person is up to or if they have the tie at hand to start a private conversation.

They may not even be checking PMs at the time.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@MethDozer You have made some very interesting points thank you for your time I hope you have a great day.

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Capt11 · 51-55, M

@ChemDawg I think it is important to understand that people come online for different reasons. Most people desire to talk or interaction with someone. So if you do not interact what is the point. I thank you for your words and your point of view. I hope you have a good day and stay friendly.

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