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Why has civility nearly disappeared in our culture, and how can we encourage its return?

The culture in the United States has become very divided on so many issues, and the ability to have a civil discussion seems to have almost disappeared. People holding an opposite perspective from our own are often demonized and viewed as the enemy. Discussions often degenerate into name-calling and belittling and personal attacks. How can we encourage a return to civility, so that we can all come together and discuss the issues in a reasonable and calm manner, even though we might hold drastically differing positions on those issues?
BlueVeins · 22-25
The presidential election of 1800 was not genteel. John Adams, the incumbent, ran against Thomas Jefferson, and neither party came out looking dignified. One of the more vitriolic charges was leveled at Adams, after Jefferson allegedly hired the journalist James Thomson Callender to write unpleasant things about his opponent. Callender set to his task with gusto, and published an attack on Adams which stated that he was “a hideous hermaphroditical character which has neither the force and firmness of a man, not the gentleness and sensibility of a woman.”

This era is not special.
@ms20182878 The country was very polarized during the 60s. The civil rights movement was at it's height, there were anti war protesters in the streets, the free love movement, the hippies. all of it. I think part of what warps our perception and makes this era seem crueler than others is it's also more interconnected than any other era so we SEE Everything, we SEE all the interactions, On Social Media. WE can see the fighting going on and people being harsh to one another. Everyone has access to it, it takes place far more publicaally than it would have in the 60s. I don't think we've suddenly lost civility. Other Eras were highly uncivil too. I think we just notice the lack of civility much more readily.
laotzu92 · 70-79, M
@BlueVeins You mean Adams was transgender? Might have won a few votes today. (a;; said with a smile)
More seriously, while not minimizing the current climate, things were not civil in the earlier days of the Republic. But contrary to Kittens above, I think most of the intolerance and bullying is found on the left.
Carazaa · F
But the world didn't have as much divorce until 60s and thereafter fathers are often not present in the home so kids have become more depressed and mentally ill and not taking responsibility for their lives and more rebellious towards authority. Our whole society is worse because of divorces. @BetweenKittensandRiots
ArishMell · 70-79, M
It's not confined to the USA. Look what's happening in France at the moment - a rather extreme example, I grant you.

DarksBane points to events in 1800, to show that it's not new either; but modern communications - and not only the (Anti-?)Social Media but also the frantic desire for instant answers all the time via news reports and punditry - have made it far easier to go on the attack without any courtesy, analysis or thought of consequences.

Even the slang-rich language of the Internet chat-group is aggressive:
"Type 'xxx' and hit Enter" - not "Press" or "Select".
"Hit me up" / "Hit on" - not "Contact", "Text" or "Send PM."
Kill social media.

That's part of the solution. it's not just that you can't punch people you disagree with in the face but when you can't see somebodies face you can't even gauge their reaction to what you just said to empathize with them to I don't know maybe apologize if you hurt their feelings.

it doesn't encourage empathy.
ArishMell · 70-79, M
@Carazaa
I can understand that advantage and your hope of a returning Jesus to you as a practicing Christian, but I'm afraid it's lost on anyone of another religion or like me, of none. (I am from an Anglican background, but not strongly so.)

However, no one religion has any monopoly on behaviour; and the risk of trying to correlate Christianity with civility is a corollary I and I am sure you, know is patently false; that you are un-civil if and because you are not Christian.

The same applies to any faith and its sects - there is no "one true" religion or sect since all are "true" to their own followers. Indeed, world events show it can be very dangerous, even lethal, to worship even the "approved" deity but in the "wrong" way.

Whilst I accept Jesus did indeed promote civility and humanity, religious differences and the misuse of religions have always, and continue to be, a ready excuse for those bent on very un-civil behaviour indeed. This was probably always so, including among religions invented, flourished then eventually lost millennia ago. I don't blame any of their gods for that fault; I blame human weakness, pride, greed and folly.

To sum up, being kind and respectful to others need not be axiomatic with religion:
- Whilst some religions original writings at least try to promote good behaviour, some of their own sectarian followers promote the opposite.
- And you can be a complete atheist but still be civil in a Christian sense.
Carazaa · F
Jesus said "I AM the way, the truth, and the life No man comes to the Father but by me." He also gave us a sign 2000 years ago in Matt 24
that right before he comes back to judge the living and the dead that iniquity will abound and the love of many will grow cold and people will be lovers of self more than lovers of God, So this is why the world is uncivil now!
ArishMell · 70-79, M
@Carazaa
I can see that as a religious perspective but with respect it a) applies to followers of just that religion and no other, and b), it evades the point that you don't need to believe in a supernatural being to treat fellow human beings with respect.

I am not religious so don't believe in Jesus' divinity, just see him as a gifted teacher (actually, this is also Islam's view of him, and I think but am happy to be corrected here, that of the Plymouth Brethren); but I hope I treat other people in a way that Jesus would approve.

I am not blind to Christianity. I have friends who do believe, and only last year I travelled to a town 400 miles from home for the weekend, to attend as invited, the ordination of one of them as a deacon.

Nor am I blind to the central tenets of religions, and these appear to be common to almost all that have been invented, whether or not still followed, over human history. Although we cannot possibly know, these tenets quite likely developed in Prehistoric times, not only among humans but just possibly, by the Neanderthals who are now being given the cultural respect they deserve.
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ms20182878 · 61-69, M
@Greenbare Sometimes those who claim to be all about diversity are completely unaccepting of anyone who has a different position from theirs. So, how do we step in to calm the conversations and emotions?
CC67219 · 41-45, F
Even a few months later this is still relevant.
ms20182878 · 61-69, M
@CC67219 Yes, it doesn't appear to be improving any time soon. From my perspective, it has gotten much worse over the past 10-15 years.
Carazaa · F
God says "If MY people who are called by MY name will humble themselves and turn from their wicked ways then I will hear from heaven and heal their land." Jesus also says that in the last days "Men will be lovers of self more than lovers of God and iniquity will abound and men's hearts will grow cold"
ms20182878 · 61-69, M
@Carazaa very true...
MrNegativeOculus · 36-40, M
Get rid of all the SJW's & Feminist & White Republicans & Black Power & Mexican Illegals and you too shall find civility.
MrNegativeOculus · 36-40, M
@ms20182878 Social Justice Warrior, and yes I consider you part of the problem.

It's all about the Chinese Unity.
ms20182878 · 61-69, M
A part of the problem is that many people broadly categorize others into groups that are either "good" or "bad" in their eyes... which just tends to promote the continued division.
ArishMell · 70-79, M
@ms20182878 I agree, and add that many applying that "good" or "bad" division are themselves afraid not to go against the compartments they and their peers have built themselves into.
UndeadSona · F
I think it's a waste of time, my bitches are dying

 
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