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If you and your best friend or sibling liked the same girl/guy, what would happen?

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I had something like that happen... my cousin liked my girlfriend... everything became a whirlwind of crazy emotions.. my mind was foggy.. I felt deeply betrayed.. I suddenly started experiencing hate for someone I loved as a little brother.. I blamed myself, I blamed my girlfriend and I blamed my cousin most of all.. I wasn’t prepared for any of that to happen back then so I think the sudden shock of it all was what turned me into a monster over it..

And now I look back on it all and only blame myself for everything....... I feel I let the hurt fester and grow too deeply inside of me.. and I was lashing out causing everyone else a lot of pain simply because I felt so much pain.. which wasn’t right.. but I really just didn’t know how to handle it back then

Dan193 · 31-35, M

@SerenitiesScars Rough. How would you handle it now?

SerenitiesScars · 31-35, M

Idk.. if it was the exact same scenario I wouldn’t blame anyone... my emotional attachment made me perceive the flirting and kissing messages he sent her as cheating.. he expressed desire to have sex with her in those messages.. he expressed desire to marry her in those messages.. I was mad because she didn’t stop him.. she sent blush face emojis but she never actually engaged back.. but I felt hurt because those emojis made me feel that she liked it.. so I felt it was cheating..

But she eventually did stop him after many messages and told him they shouldn’t do that..

And now I feel I see things more clearly.. that it was expressions of desire.. that it was flirting.. that it went no further... I don’t consider it cheating now.. I wish I was more calm back then.. I wish my mind was healthy back then.. So things never turned out as bad as they had.. @Dan193

Dan193 · 31-35, M

@SerenitiesScars Your cousin was a scumbag either way. Hope now he would handle it differently as well.

SerenitiesScars · 31-35, M

No.. he just had one of the worst mothers in the world.. so to him what he was doing was probably like very honorable in comparison to his own mother... plus he was hanging around a very bad crowd at the time with a bunch of druggies so his reasoning and logic probably weren’t at the best places either... That and the heart wants what it wants... They say all is fair in love and war for a reason.. you can’t exactly blame a person when they’re feeling love of some sort for someone.. Though I think he was mistaking platonic love for romantic love.. I think he was projecting a version of herself on her.. and he didn’t know her that well like I did.. he only saw a sliver of her soul.. and thought that made up her entire essence...

But everything between me and him is okay now.. I love him tremendously again.. he is my flesh and blood.. we are bound by being family that way.. I just hate myself for what I’ve done.. @Dan193

Dan193 · 31-35, M

@SerenitiesScars Seems like everyone slowly forgave, now it's just you, you're the one that remains to learn to forgive yourself.