how to become a good soul again after all this shit

Long confession,short.I met this attractive man in a wedding,he gave me hint,i was in.As i didn't have a friend,my need to be social lead me into an affair. Me and hubby were having disputes those times,so i feel pleased in avenging him.Alright cheating isn't big deal nowdays,but the following may take me to hell.i used to call my new bf at night in a burkha so as to hide him from in laws and neighbours,and we either gave sleeping pills to my husband or sniff him chloroform.One day mother in law caught us, but i blackmalied her to book her in a false dowry case which is a strict law in my nation,and we continued our misdeeds.My bf having inhumane nature,trapped me in doing so even when i was with my partner in vacation outside. As lust is one of the 7 mortal sins,me and my hubby are both facing consequencies,i got women health problems,and other issues,while pills gave my husband various after side effects.That prick is blackmailing me from ending the affair.I live in constant fear of getting the affair disclosed to hubby,My in laws dosen't help me in ill health.I love my husband and i will never leave him for anything.How can i seek Redemption;Priest asked me to disclose everything to my hubby as if it is that simple,no man on earth will forgive me for this.How can i save myself from going to hell.I am crying tears of blood.Can anyone of you here forgive your spouse for this,and what will you ask them to do?Trust me ,do anything but cheat on your partner.