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Y'all ready for this conspiracy theory about lawyers?

1. Can't legally lie, but they trade in half-truths and misleading language
2. Obsessed with contracts
3. Required to follow the letter (but not the spirit) of the law
4. Really good at exploiting loopholes
5. Range from semi-helpful to openly malevolent

Conclusion: Fairies. Lawyers are fae folk

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CountScrofula · 41-45, M

And importantly, you need to leave a glass of milk out by the doorstep for your lawyer or they'll kill your pig.

NorthernRoses · 22-25, F

@CountScrofula If you get help from a lawyer you're required to give them your first-born

CountScrofula · 41-45, M

@NorthernRoses Yes, but they won't claim your first born when you expect it. They'll come calling at a later date with a wink and a curse.