If i die no one will miss me

@GenuineUnicorn You only get out of a relationship as much as you put into it. You got fired because you didn't show up. You were probably replaced with somebody else. Work has to get done whether your there or not.The last part of your statement is just plane self-pity.

I actually wasn't remotely surprised I was let go at work. I was kind of surprised no one checked to see why I didn't show up as it had never happened before. I was known for not calling out, not missing work, not taking vacation time because I'd forget I had it, so the fact that no one checked to say, see if I died in my apartment, and didn't show for that reason...was more what hit me a little weird. I wasn't upset or surprised that I had to look for work. I just think if someone who never fails to be somewhere, suddenly fails to be somewhere, it would be a good idea to check to see if something is wrong. I was more upset that I had family in the same town, who I checked in on frequently, who didn't do the same by me for a solid six months and that there wasn't so much as a missed text by friends or family in that time. As for my relationship with my wife, I've put 15 years into a marriage, taken care of her when she needed me to, including after a major accident that left her dependent on in home care for over a year, because that's just what you do in a marriage, and because I love her. Meanwhile, over the last year, I've developed cancer. It's not going to kill me. It's just very unpleasant, and at points I need help. Help that she doesn't want to, and won't give so I'm stuck sorting it out myself as my insurance doesn't cover someone to come in to do it. I don't see that as getting out of a relationship what I've put in. I also don't see a point in, in the long term, counting the things you've done in a relationship, expecting others to repay them. If you spend your life expecting others to love you as much as you love them, and to put in the same amount you do into everything, you're going to spend a lot of time in life sorely disappointed. As far as self pity, no not really. Freddy asked if anyone else was in the same situation, (where no one would care if they weren't there). I am. No one would care. That's not self pity. It's a fact. I'm not even honestly upset by it. It is what it is. If you're depressed about not having someone care, and it really really bothers you, or if it's an in accurate view of what's really going on, then it IS probably depression. But not everyone has someone. I don't. The family I did have, who didn't look for me even when they were here, have died off. There IS no one to look for me on that level at this point. I don't have living children. My wife would seek divorce if we could afford it and has openly told me so. I know some people, but I wouldn't consider them close friends. I work with some people, but I am just that to them, a work contact. Some people just don't have a wide social circle, or family. When those people pass away, other people say, gee, that's too bad. And it is. It's unfortunate that a life ended. But no one is hanging around mourning for them. That bothers some people. If it does, change it. Make friends. Create new relationships. If it doesn't they end up like me. Aware of the fact. But not really all that bothered by it.

@johnny253 does that really help?

@freddy123 Yes it does. It helped me and I know other people that it helped.